Are You Ready to be a Dad?

[MTK]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Dude you are way over due!!! =)

Every time I see you on Xbox I think this guy has way too much free time, time to start having kids.

lol I'm only on an hour a day tops, maybe more on the weekends but I often go a few days at a time without playing. Wish I had more time for it actually.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Mattyk

lol I'm only on an hour a day tops, maybe more on the weekends but I often go a few days at a time without playing. Wish I had more time for it actually.

I know just busting balls!

[Monkeydad]

Whoa, whoa...I wasn't saying ONLY kids with stay-at-home moms do well...simply saying our son is going well and we're satisfied with his development and behavior....and grateful that we're able to raise him the way we want him to be raised rather than trusting another person who we can't be with all day to do the job right.

I know it's not financially feasible for everyone to stay home...most households in today's society/economy need to be 2-income households...mine is no different. I am just fortunate enough to be able to work two jobs and make it possible. My wife bring in income from home as well, but we do see a very noticeable difference between our son and those of friends/coworkers who aren't lucky enough to stay home every day.

Like I said, it's something that every couple, including SS, needs to discuss and agree upon. There is no right or wrong way to parent, you have to do what works for you and your child. As long as someone is a loving and attentive parent, things will most likely be OK. Part of that is making sure your kid is well-cared for and learning your values, no matter if it's in your house or another while you're at work...a responsible parent will make sure the place their child in is always the best it can be in every way. There are a lot of BAD daycares and everyone has relatives they don't see eye-to-eye with...you have to be careful who you leave your kid with.

I don't see how suggesting he and his wife decide upon child care and their careers before the kid is born is ignorant. It would be ignorant NOT to discuss it and make plans.

Don't ruin SS's dad thread with a hot temper.


Smoot, expect heated discussions with your wife, not only during the pregnancy's hormonal rollercoaster, but after the child is born. It's just key to make sure those discussions don't affect the child. It's normal when parents are trying to figure things out, but how you two handle disagreements in front of your child is the key.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Buster

Whoa, whoa...I wasn't saying ONLY kids with stay-at-home moms do well...simply saying our son is going well and we're satisfied with his development and behavior....and grateful that we're able to raise him the way we want him to be raised rather than trusting another person who we can't be with all day to do the job right.

I know it's not financially feasible for everyone to stay home...most households in today's society/economy need to be 2-income households...mine is no different. I am just fortunate enough to be able to work two jobs and make it possible. My wife bring in income from home as well, but we do see a very noticeable difference between our son and those of friends/coworkers who aren't lucky enough to stay home every day.

Like I said, it's something that every couple, including SS, needs to discuss and agree upon. There is no right or wrong way to parent, you have to do what works for you and your child. As long as someone is a loving and attentive parent, things will most likely be OK. Part of that is making sure your kid is well-cared for and learning your values, no matter if it's in your house or another while you're at work...a responsible parent will make sure the place their child in is always the best it can be in every way. There are a lot of BAD daycares and everyone has relatives they don't see eye-to-eye with...you have to be careful who you leave your kid with.

I don't see how suggesting he and his wife decide upon child care and their careers before the kid is born is ignorant. It would be ignorant NOT to discuss it and make plans.

Don't ruin SS's dad thread with a hot temper.


Smoot, expect heated discussions with your wife, not only during the pregnancy's hormonal rollercoaster, but after the child is born. It's just key to make sure those discussions don't affect the child. It's normal when parents are trying to figure things out, but how you two handle disagreements in front of your child is the key.

Re-read this paragraph by you:

One thing you need to decide before-hand...will be whether she goes back to work or is a stay-at-home mother, which is far better for the child's development and as far as instilling YOUR morals in the kid, instead of the babysitter's. Young kids take in a LOT in those first few year and are very easy influenced in things that can stick around for a lifetime. You want the best possible environment at that young age, or later on, it would be a nightmare trying to adjust or re-instill the values and behaviors you wanted, but couldn't because someone else was caring for them.

The ignorant part of your post is not the decision of what type of care but that the best choice is to stay at home and that my friend is your opinion not a fact.

My son goes to day care by our choice. His first year of life my wife worked one day a week after a year we researched day cares and decide the Goddard School would be best for his development and also my wife's sanity. She enjoys work and also my son but she doesn't want to be a stay at home mom.

This is my sons weekly schedule currently; at my MIL on Mondays (she want this becasue she loves caring for him) Tues-Thurs at Day Care/School and Fridays at home with his mom. We feel in our opinion this is what is best for his development and it seems to be working.

You should maybe go back to your post and re-word it as your opinion and not a fact that a child that stays home is superior to a day care child. Also, some parents like ourselves choice day care and feel very LUCKY to be able to afford it.

[SmootSmack]

@Cro4Jets I don't understand the question

Who will take care of the baby is definitely a big concern. Like I said, we don't have family nearby. We're a two-income household and the reality is while I make a decent salary, she's the true breadwinner.

I know it's a bit of a difficult question to answer, but for the first year or two what are the average monthly expenses for a baby?

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

@Cro4Jets I don't understand the question

Who will take care of the baby is definitely a big concern. Like I said, we don't have family nearby. We're a two-income household and the reality is while I make a decent salary, she's the true breadwinner.

I know it's a bit of a difficult question to answer, but for the first year or two what are the average monthly expenses for a baby?

Let her keep working and you can become a MR Mom. I told my wife she could stay at home the first 5 yrs then I would stay at home the next 5 yrs.

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

@Cro4Jets I don't understand the question

Who will take care of the baby is definitely a big concern. Like I said, we don't have family nearby. We're a two-income household and the reality is while I make a decent salary, she's the true breadwinner.

I know it's a bit of a difficult question to answer, but for the first year or two what are the average monthly expenses for a baby?

Sooo many variables.

If you're both working, daycare is obviously the HUGE expense. That varies by location and you need to check it out and decide if it is worth working and paying for childcare. (For example - Given her experience, my wife could get a job that would essentially pay for day care, but not much more. Rather than work to pay for someone else to raise our kids, she is a stay at home mom and we forego the minimal extra income she would have provided).

The other huge issue is health care. Lots of shots, emergency room visits, check ups, etc. If you have a rich policy, you will be fine. Otherwise, a chronically sick kid can be expensive. Even if not chronically sick (some kids just are - my niece and nephew are constantly running into niggling health issues), there are a lot of standard health care expenses in the first couple years.

Check your coverages, see who has the best - balance this into your daycare/stay home parent analysis. For example, consider the following hypothetical: Your wife makes great salary but has crappy benefits, you have crappy salary but great health benefits. Will her great salary make up for the loss of your great benefits?

Other than that, clothes, food and diapers are your main expenses. Again, I am guessing at 100-200/month. However, it's the day care (or loss of second income)/health care issues that are the main expenses for most.

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

@Cro4Jets I don't understand the question

Who will take care of the baby is definitely a big concern. Like I said, we don't have family nearby. We're a two-income household and the reality is while I make a decent salary, she's the true breadwinner.

I know it's a bit of a difficult question to answer, but for the first year or two what are the average monthly expenses for a baby?

Tough to nail down a solid figure, because I spent so much time in looking for sales and deals, plus things come up that you never thought of or planed for.


If you use store brand diapers...they're about $15 for 80-90 of them. Your biggest expense will be formula if she doesn't breastfeed. Big cans of Similac are about $15 each and you'll use at least one or two a week. Then there are wipes (80 for $3), food (about $0.60 a jar), cereal is cheap, about $1.50 a box that last a while (rice cereal). If you use those bottles with liners, they're more convenient but the refills are about $8 for 100.

Luckily with your first baby, a lot of people give you clothes and blankets, so you could be set for the first year, clothes-wise.

If you're like most parents, you'll just transfer money you spent on yourself to the baby's budget: eating out (can't do that as much if you wanted to with a baby), movies and entertainment...the extra things.

You'll find it somewhere.

I don't know how much your wife makes and it's none of our business, but sometimes daycare can sometimes eat up a large portion of one parent's weekly income, so even money-wise, the decision to continue to work may not end up helping the family budget anyways...so it will come down to if your wife wants a break (some mothers do) or wants to stay on her career track, or stay home. There's no right or wrong blanket answer and it's a personal decision for every couple, I just really believe there are big benefits to one parent being with the child every day. (not to infuriate people again)

I'm just sharing my experiences as you asked...so you can consider everything as you plan your children with your wife. It doesn't hurt anyone to consider every option of a situation.

[Hog1]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

@Cro4Jets I don't understand the question

Who will take care of the baby is definitely a big concern. Like I said, we don't have family nearby. We're a two-income household and the reality is while I make a decent salary, she's the true breadwinner.

I know it's a bit of a difficult question to answer, but for the first year or two what are the average monthly expenses for a baby?

Get a Sams or Costco membership..........

[MonkFan4Life]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

@Cro4Jets I don't understand the question

Who will take care of the baby is definitely a big concern. Like I said, we don't have family nearby. We're a two-income household and the reality is while I make a decent salary, she's the true breadwinner.

I know it's a bit of a difficult question to answer, but for the first year or two what are the average monthly expenses for a baby?

In my home my wife is thr true bread winner. Hell I told you guys how I lost my job and I'd say from December of last year up until July of this year I brought in a third of what I had been bringing in before. You guys are married and I'm sure that this isn't the first time that one of you would be holding up the other. That's called love. Now with the child.

Have you all discussed if she going to breastfeed ? I ask because that will figure in to how much you will have to pay in formula wich can hit your head something awful. My wife nursed and if we had to buy formula all of that time then we would've kicked out a whole lot of money.

Are you ready to be a father ? I would say yes because you asked. That alone shows that you have the desire but you want to make sure that you are prepared for this. You're ready. Are you ready to wake up when he/she cries just because ? Are you ready to watch your cell phone sink into a foot bath ? Are you ready to wash poop off of your finger and under your fingernails because sombody just had to move while changinh a daiper ? Are you ready to walk into a room and have your child scream Daddy while running top speed to give you a hug ? If you answered yes, then you're ready. Go ahead and do it, my wife and I are actually contemplating having another one. We would like for me to have a more stable job, being a contracto and feeling the sting of a Federal Employee pushing me out I want a full government position unless I find a way to have a radio show. I love children and my little guy is the greatest thing that I have every created.

Watching The Goonies there's a part at the end where Data (The litle asian kid) hugs his dad and tells him how he loves him and the dad looks at him and says, "You are my greatest invention" That shit is so real. My son is 2 years old now and he brings me so much joy. That little bastard makes me want to beat the piss out of him sometimes but as angry as I was when he took the bottle of lotion and rubbed it all over his body and the floor. I was angry, but we'll laugh about that someday. Just watching him grow and learn this world and life is worth everything "bad" that comes with it. They truly do grow fast.



3 months



6 months



And this is my little dude at 2.

My son knows the Redskins logo when he sees it. Go ahead and make one. It'll be the best thing that you have ever done.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

In my home my wife is thr true bread winner. Hell I told you guys how I lost my job and I'd say from December of last year up until July of this year I brought in a third of what I had been bringing in before. You guys are married and I'm sure that this isn't the first time that one of you would be holding up the other. That's called love. Now with the child.

Have you all discussed if she going to breastfeed ? I ask because that will figure in to how much you will have to pay in formula wich can hit your head something awful. My wife nursed and if we had to buy formula all of that time then we would've kicked out a whole lot of money.

Are you ready to be a father ? I would say yes because you asked. That alone shows that you have the desire but you want to make sure that you are prepared for this. You're ready. Are you ready to wake up when he/she cries just because ? Are you ready to watch your cell phone sink into a foot bath ? Are you ready to wash poop off of your finger and under your fingernails because sombody just had to move while changinh a daiper ? Are you ready to walk into a room and have your child scream Daddy while running top speed to give you a hug ? If you answered yes, then you're ready. Go ahead and do it, my wife and I are actually contemplating having another one. We would like for me to have a more stable job, being a contracto and feeling the sting of a Federal Employee pushing me out I want a full government position unless I find a way to have a radio show. I love children and my little guy is the greatest thing that I have every created.

Watching The Goonies there's a part at the end where Data (The litle asian kid) hugs his dad and tells him how he loves him and the dad looks at him and says, "You are my greatest invention" That shit is so real. My son is 2 years old now and he brings me so much joy. That little bastard makes me want to beat the piss out of him sometimes but as angry as I was when he took the bottle of lotion and rubbed it all over his body and the floor. I was angry, but we'll laugh about that someday. Just watching him grow and learn this world and life is worth everything "bad" that comes with it. They truly do grow fast.



3 months



6 months



And this is my little dude at 2.

My son knows the Redskins logo when he sees it. Go ahead and make one. It'll be the best thing that you have ever done.

Cute boy and my daughter knew the skins logo at the same age. I see sears does not make any money off you. LOL/JK

[MonkFan4Life]

Originally Posted by firstdown

Cute boy and my daughter knew the skins logo at the same age. I see sears does not make any money off you. LOL/JK

Thanks first and artmonk. They got a hold of my wife and I when she was pregnant. We used to go every 3 months but now we're on the good ol Birthday Plan ! And whenever my sister and wife plan a freaking family picture day. We bought the little club membership crap and all that. Oh my my my. I'm about to start setting up the ol iPhone and taking the family photos that way ! Save some beer money !

WAY TO LEAVE IT IN SMOOT ! CONGRATS !!!!!!!!

I'm sure you will do a great job !

[Monkeydad]

What's questionable about that? The more time you spend with your kids, the more chances you have to influence them.

I'm sure there are stats to back it up that parents being more involved in a child's life is better for them...don't want to turn this thread into a debate though.

I realize it's not possible for everyone to be able to stay home with their kids financially, or they just choose not to, but it's something parents need to agree upon, preferably before having the child.

AGAIN, I am not saying anyone is a bad parent for finding a good daycare for their kids...just let it go.

[Monkeydad]

Keep in mind, those are PA prices...you're in NY, right? You'll probably find my prices to be on the low side then.

[over the mountain]

stupid question:

if i have great health insurance and my wife has none, does my health care provider pay for her maternity related doctor and hospital bills?

when the child is born, does my health care coverage cover the child for all the childs medical visits?

will my insurance (already over 200 a month) go up?