Laughter is the Best Medicine

SmootSmack · 03-17-2005, 01:43 PM

It's getting a little pissy on the Warpath lately so I thought I'd lighten the mood with some oldies but goodies.

Cowboy Jokes:

Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.

Q; What do you call 47 people sitting around the TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Dallas Cowboys!

Q. What does Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and a bullfrog have in common?
A. Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth

Bonus Philly Joke:

Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Redskins_P · 03-17-2005, 01:53 PM

The bonus joke was by far the best.....

backrow · 03-17-2005, 01:53 PM

Sure, have a laugh at the expense of the cowroids, egirls, and while we are at it, the midgets!

jamf · 03-17-2005, 02:01 PM

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!"

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions.

The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny Cochran

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

Q. Which is more valuable, a dollar bill or the Dallas Cowboys?
A. A dollar bill - you're guaranteed to get four quarters out of it!

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common?
A. They both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

RedskinRat · 03-17-2005, 02:02 PM

If we're doing jokes.....

Teacher in a NY Kindergarten asks the kids in class what their father does for a living. "Miss" says Jimmy "My father is a truck driver. He transports goods to other states". "Very good" says the teacher. "Miss" says Suzie "My Daddy is a police officer, one of NY's finest". "That's wonderful" says the teacher. "Miss" says Billy "My father is a stripper in a gay bar. He also sleeps with men for money". "Billy, go to the Principals office, right now!"
The teacher recounts the conversation to the Principal and the Principal looks sternly at Billy and says "Billy, why would you say such a thing? Is it true?"

Billy says "No, actually he's the starting QB for the NY Giants, but I was too ashamed to say".

SmootSmack · 03-17-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedskinRat

If we're doing jokes.....

Teacher in a NY Kindergarten asks the kids in class what their father does for a living. "Miss" says Jimmy "My father is a truck driver. He transports goods to other states". "Very good" says the teacher. "Miss" says Suzie "My Daddy is a police officer, one of NY's finest". "That's wonderful" says the teacher. "Miss" says Billy "My father is a stripper in a gay bar. He also sleeps with men for money". "Billy, go to the Principals office, right now!"
The teacher recounts the conversation to the Prinncipal and the Principal looks sternly at Billy and says "Billy, why would you say such a thing? Is it true?"

Billy says "No, actually he's the starting QB for the NY Giants, but I was too ashamed to say".

See, don't we all feel a little better now?

firstdown · 03-17-2005, 02:16 PM

Not realy the jokes on us after the past five seasons!

Its time for the pain train to come to Dallas with the conductors of Taylor and Lavar!!

cpayne5 · 03-17-2005, 02:30 PM

This is one of the first things I ever downloaded and kept off the internet.

Brings a tear to my eye everytime.

dirtbag2112 · 03-17-2005, 02:52 PM

If we don't beat Dallas this year I'll eat my balls.

redwagonskins · 03-17-2005, 02:56 PM

That is the funniest thing I've heard all week!

firstdown · 03-17-2005, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtbag2112

If we don't beat Dallas this year I'll eat my balls.

You could do it on the internet as a pay perview, of course free for all warpath members.

SmootSmack · 03-17-2005, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtbag2112

If we don't beat Dallas this year I'll eat my balls.

Fear Factor: Warpath!

RedskinRat · 03-17-2005, 03:33 PM

A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself
into the sea.

She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young
sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look,
you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you
away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he
slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would
give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made
passionate love until dawn.

Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain.
"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to
Europe and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry"

TheMalcolmConnection · 03-17-2005, 04:00 PM

Fear Factor, here we come!

TheMalcolmConnection · 03-17-2005, 04:00 PM

You beat me to it! :P

03-17-2005, 01:43 PM	#1
SmootSmack Uncle Phil Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 45,256	Laughter is the Best Medicine It's getting a little pissy on the Warpath lately so I thought I'd lighten the mood with some oldies but goodies. Cowboy Jokes: Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving? A: The police. Q; What do you call 47 people sitting around the TV watching the Super Bowl? A. The Dallas Cowboys! Q. What does Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and a bullfrog have in common? A. Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth Bonus Philly Joke: Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring? A: A thief. __________________ You're So Vain...You Probably Think This Sig Is About You

03-17-2005, 01:53 PM	#2
Redskins_P Fight for old DC! Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Aldie, VA Age: 46 Posts: 4,101	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine The bonus joke was by far the best.....

03-17-2005, 01:53 PM	#3
backrow The Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: 36.28 x 76.22 Age: 73 Posts: 1,812	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine Sure, have a laugh at the expense of the cowroids, egirls, and while we are at it, the midgets! __________________ '37, '42, '83, '88, '92. Championship!

03-17-2005, 02:01 PM	#4
jamf Pro Bowl Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Diego Ca Posts: 5,296	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common? A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!" Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas? A: A huddle. The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions. The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny Cochran Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights. Q. Which is more valuable, a dollar bill or the Dallas Cowboys? A. A dollar bill - you're guaranteed to get four quarters out of it! Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common? A. They both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

03-17-2005, 02:02 PM	#5
RedskinRat Franchise Player Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: I'm in LA, trick! Posts: 8,700	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine If we're doing jokes..... Teacher in a NY Kindergarten asks the kids in class what their father does for a living. "Miss" says Jimmy "My father is a truck driver. He transports goods to other states". "Very good" says the teacher. "Miss" says Suzie "My Daddy is a police officer, one of NY's finest". "That's wonderful" says the teacher. "Miss" says Billy "My father is a stripper in a gay bar. He also sleeps with men for money". "Billy, go to the Principals office, right now!" The teacher recounts the conversation to the Principal and the Principal looks sternly at Billy and says "Billy, why would you say such a thing? Is it true?" Billy says "No, actually he's the starting QB for the NY Giants, but I was too ashamed to say".

03-17-2005, 02:16 PM	#7
firstdown Living Legend Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: chesapeake, va Age: 60 Posts: 15,817	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine Not realy the jokes on us after the past five seasons! Its time for the pain train to come to Dallas with the conductors of Taylor and Lavar!!

03-17-2005, 02:30 PM	#8
cpayne5 Playmaker Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 3,807	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine This is one of the first things I ever downloaded and kept off the internet. Brings a tear to my eye everytime. __________________ "It's not about what you've done, but what's been done for you."

03-17-2005, 02:52 PM	#9
dirtbag2112 Special Teams Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 293	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine If we don't beat Dallas this year I'll eat my balls.

03-17-2005, 02:56 PM	#10
redwagonskins Impact Rookie Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: San Diego Posts: 685	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine That is the funniest thing I've heard all week!

03-17-2005, 03:33 PM	#13
RedskinRat Franchise Player Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: I'm in LA, trick! Posts: 8,700	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine A young woman in New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Staten Island Ferry"

03-17-2005, 04:00 PM	#14
TheMalcolmConnection I like big (_\|_)s. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Lexington, Virginia Age: 43 Posts: 19,225	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine Fear Factor, here we come! __________________ Regret nothing. At one time it was exactly what you wanted.

03-17-2005, 04:00 PM	#15
TheMalcolmConnection I like big (_\|_)s. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Lexington, Virginia Age: 43 Posts: 19,225	Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine You beat me to it! :P __________________ Regret nothing. At one time it was exactly what you wanted.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

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