More facts about Sean Taylor (Chuck Norris ripoffs)

[mooby]

Basically all these are chuck norris ripoffs, you might've heard them, you might've not, but whateva. Here ya go.

Sean Taylor once commented, “There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none.”

Sean Taylor once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

Sean Taylor is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Sean Taylor’s nutsack.

When observing a Sean Taylor roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Sean Taylor put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Sean Taylor started a blog. He then invented new blog technology that allowed him to give all his blog visitors roundhouse kicks to the face.

When little kids ask their mothers who Sean Taylor is, each and every one of them say, your real father.

When Sean Taylor jumps in water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Sean Taylor'd.

Sean Taylor owns a restauarant called Roundhouse Cafe. The only thing on the menu is pain and untimely death.

When you drink unicorn blood you become invincible, when you drink Sean Taylor's blood you become pure energy and later bring about the apacolypse.

Sean Taylor doesn't cut his grass, he stands in the yard and dares it to grow.

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because Sean Taylor roundhouse kicked them all the face and did it himself.

Kids are afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Sean Taylor.

Who would win in a fight between Sean Taylor and God? Trick question, Sean Taylor is God.

Sean Taylor can believe it's not butter.

They say only two things can survive a nuclear blast. Cockroaches and Sean Taylor.

When God said,"let there be light". Sean Taylor said,"say please".

Global warming is Sean Taylor's way of saying you need to learn how to swim.

There is only one thing Osama Bin Laden is hiding from... Sean Taylor.

Sean Taylor doesn't listen to music. Music listens to Sean Taylor.

When Sean Taylor was born his parents decided to name him Gaylord Farglesquad, Sean Taylor then gave them both a roundhouse kick to the face and said,” Dammit, bitch, my name will be Sean Taylor.

Sean Taylor does not jump, the earth falls off his feet.

Sean Taylor has no reflection, when Sean Taylor looked in the mirror his reflection ran away.

Sean Taylor does not have sex with a woman to make her pregnant, he simply points to her uterus and says "BAM".

Sean Taylor can touch MC Hammer.

Sean Taylor doesn't tea bag, he potatoe sacks.

Sean Taylor doesn't sleep. He waits.