Pirates hijack ship with 21 Americans aboard off Somalia

[djnemo65]

Props to the US snipers for doing amazing work, but this sounds like a job for the ninjas of the world.

The Official Ninja Webpage:* REAL Ultimate Power!!!!

Ultimate Ninjas vs Pirates

Here is the initial treatment for a NINJAS pirates movie:

The Pirate Dance




SCENE 1:



The scene opens up with some soft annoying music to get the audience super pissed. The camera will show a bunch of pirates eating chicken buttholes. Fortunately, a ninja sees everything and realizes what a bunch of bull crap it is. So this one ninja walks up to them and is like, “Yo what’s your problem?” The camera zooms directly on a pirate’s mouth, which states “Get out of here now.” and buttholes fall all over the silverware. Then the camera cuts to the ninja’s mouth with says “No,” but nothing gross happens. The audience then sees ninja pull out a huge guitar which is really medium sized and wails. But the pirates don’t explode, they start to dance.........hard, harder than the hardest blackest boner alive. And when they dance, the pirates look like a bunch of crabby and stupid moms. Everybody in the entire world craps their pants laughing at the pure stupidity of the pirates. But the ninja has A.D.D. and starts losing energy/power and the pirates start stopping dancing. (There will be some suspense filled violins and guitars playing so that the audience gets scared and/or pumped-scared.) In several motions, the pirates come toward the ninja. BUT, out of nowhere this bad ass lake appears and a huge hippo busts out of it hard. Water sprays everywhere, including the pirates’ shirts (which causes their boobs to barely appear through their shirts). Most pirates are like “This can’t be happening!” The hippo says “Guess what, it is.” and slaps five with ninja pretty hard. And the ninja says “let’s rock brother.” They both pull out expensive guitars and start wailing on them really really hard. Since the ninja can’t concentrate, the hippo thoughtfully guides his hand, because they are blood brothers till the end of time and space. Then the pirates all morph into this tiny diaper and the hippo and ninja morph into a super poop-filled baby that takes the biggest frigg’n dump in the pirate/diaper. The pirates’ scream turns into a crap-gargle (this will make audience laugh gregariously). The ninja's A.D.D. heals and the two buddies/brothers smoke cigarettes and get ice-cream and pop, which they enjoy a lot.





The End



-I don’t know how anybody can tolerate pirates after reading this stuff.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

I used to be like you. Reactionary and hate filled. Then Dmek and Saden and Beemn7 and MattyK72 showed me a better way. We need to all realize that we are the change that we've been waiting for. We shouldn't be striving for an empire where we show the world the way. What we should be after is a world where we can all live in peace and harmony together. A world where love is the standard currency, not the dollar. Not Christian love of course, that would be oppressive. No what we need is a sort of undefined, hippy 60s love based on who knows what that is largely defined by sex and only requires that we all throw aside whatever thoughts and opinions we might have and get with the program. Praise the Lord (not Jesus) I've seen the light.

I'm not sure if your joking or not but I only hate a few people for very good reasons and I'm not sure if hate is even the right word.

[saden1]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

I used to be like you. Reactionary and hate filled. Then Dmek and Saden and Beemn7 and MattyK72 showed me a better way. We need to all realize that we are the change that we've been waiting for. We shouldn't be striving for an empire where we show the world the way. What we should be after is a world where we can all live in peace and harmony together. A world where love is the standard currency, not the dollar. Not Christian love of course, that would be oppressive. No what we need is a sort of undefined, hippy 60s love based on who knows what that is largely defined by sex and only requires that we all throw aside whatever thoughts and opinions we might have and get with the program. Praise the Lord (not Jesus) I've seen the light.

Yes, yes, that's it. I recommend How to See Yourself As You Really Are by his Holiness the Dalai Lama.

[Beemnseven]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

I used to be like you. Reactionary and hate filled. Then Dmek and Saden and Beemn7 and MattyK72 showed me a better way. We need to all realize that we are the change that we've been waiting for. We shouldn't be striving for an empire where we show the world the way. What we should be after is a world where we can all live in peace and harmony together. A world where love is the standard currency, not the dollar. Not Christian love of course, that would be oppressive. No what we need is a sort of undefined, hippy 60s love based on who knows what that is largely defined by sex and only requires that we all throw aside whatever thoughts and opinions we might have and get with the program. Praise the Lord (not Jesus) I've seen the light.

Dripping with sarcasm these days, aren't we 70Chip?

You and I probably agree more than we disagree. I'm a proud capitalist pig. And I've got nothing against Christianity, I just don't want the tenents of it carried out by legislation that's all.

On our local talk radio station this morning they were talking about how small the British Navy is these days, that it's not nearly the size it once was. My first thought was, no shit -- what do they need with their own navy for when they've got the United States Navy to depend on? We're the ones charged with policing the world and being the chief warrior of NATO.

I look at oppression and tyranny throughout the world the same way I look at the poor or the "less fortunate" in our own country. Stop your bitching, get off your asses and help yourselves for once.

I have no unchosen obligations and I want to see everyone mind their own damn business.

[Dirtbag59]

AMERI-CUH!!! Sorry thats just what people say down here whenever americans do something cool. I mean this time it seems kind of worthy of it but they also use the chant for stupid stuff.

[JPPT1974]

These pirates are take no prisoners at all. And that they are really vicious!
From what the media is describing them.

[gibbsisgod]

Think the pirates want to avoid the US. It doesn't sound like it.

Somali pirates threaten Americans - Somalia- msnbc.com

[jamf]

For firstdown:

[saden1]

Originally Posted by jamf

For firstdown:

kakakakakakaa...hahahahhaa...that's beautiful dude.

[dmek25]

that's quality, jamf

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by jamf

For firstdown:

Brilliant

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Those wacky pirates and their clever little schemes never work. What a bunch of jokers.

[budw38]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

I'm worried that by killing these three pirates, we have only made it easier for our enemies to recruit new pirates in the future. We've got ot stop pushing our weight around like this and rely more on negotiation and diplomacy. Aaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh Matey!

Nice ! If own a ship , my crew is armed and have a security team of some sort on board to boot !

[JoeRedskin]

Not sure which is more stupid. The pirates attacking the French Command ship or said ship (1) allowing a couple of skiffs to get close enough to attack - were the sentries taking a nap?? and (2) one of the priate skiffs escaping from an attack on the French Command ship - "uhh, which way did he go? which way did he go?"

I would hope that a similar attack on an US naval vessel would lead to all but one one pirate dead and the sole remaining pirate safely captured to give up info.

Just as an "as if" -- If a bunch of "lightly armed" pirates can approach and attack the French command ship, I would think that an attack by the Navy Seals could board the ship, wipe out the crew and sink the ship without any one ever knowing what happened to it. --- just saying.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by firstdown

Are you kidding? Pushing our weight around. They attacked our US ship and then took the captain hostage. Anything after that was fair game and they lost their life. I'm just impressed with two things. 1. Obama gave them the OK to fire on them if needed. 2. These Seals picked these guys off in heavy seas with 3 shots fired and all 3 hit there mark.

If you read back I gave Obama credit for giving the OK back when it happened.