F...people who tell you how to parent

[SolidSnake84]

Sorry Matt,

i should clarify. Our father had a stern hand...maybe by today's rules, it would be classified as abuse. BUT, i can tell you, that is what kept me out of trouble, and i thank my dad for that.

I do not believe in the "hands off" parenting approach that so many people take these days. I think a spanking, or even worse, a whipping, may be deserved for some things...

I hope i didnt mislead anybody

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Sorry Matt,

i should clarify. Our father had a stern hand...maybe by today's rules, it would be classified as abuse. BUT, i can tell you, that is what kept me out of trouble, and i thank my dad for that.

I do not believe in the "hands off" parenting approach that so many people take these days. I think a spanking, or even worse, a whipping, may be deserved for some things...

I hope i didnt mislead anybody

WTF???? Are you raising horses? I would not even whip a horse.

I think when you spank or whip a child you are releasing your angry for the situation more then you are actually disciplining the child.

How can using violence to disicpline a child be teaching them a good lesson.

"If someone does wrong they should be hit." - child's mind

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by mredskins

WTF???? Are you raising horses? I would not even whip a horse.

I think when you spank or whip a child you are releasing your angry for the situation more then you are actually disciplining the child.

How can using violence to disicpline a child be teaching them a good lesson.

"If someone does wrong they should be hit." - child's mind

Dont take what i said literally...i just mean a spanking in general. When i was little, my mother would whip me with a wooden spoon...a couple good whacks...

I think it should be saved as a last resort....after "talking" and time outs dont work anymore....i think its a "to each their own" situation with parenting. I've noticed that most parents tell me that they raise their children how they were raised (keep in mind these are normal people...not drunks or child abusers)

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Dont take what i said literally...i just mean a spanking in general. When i was little, my mother would whip me with a wooden spoon...a couple good whacks...

I think it should be saved as a last resort....after "talking" and time outs dont work anymore....i think its a "to each their own" situation with parenting. I've noticed that most parents tell me that they raise their children how they were raised (keep in mind these are normal people...not drunks or child abusers)

I got the old wooden spoon a few times too. LOL.

Never went the wooden spoon route with my son though. He got spankings once in a while. He's getting big now (16), but I'm pretty sure the old man could still lay a spanking on him if need be.

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by mredskins

WTF???? Are you raising horses? I would not even whip a horse.

I think when you spank or whip a child you are releasing your angry for the situation more then you are actually disciplining the child.

How can using violence to disicpline a child be teaching them a good lesson.

"If someone does wrong they should be hit." - child's mind

There is a huge difference between discipline and teaching consequences...and abusive hitting. Kids ARE smart enough to understand punishments and "I need to listen so I don't face the consequences" vs. "they just hit me for no reason or for everything so I might as well be bad because I'll be hit anyways". Children do understand more than we give them credit for.

[Schneed10]

In reality, the manner of discipline (time outs vs spanks) is not going to have a huge influence on a child's development. Socioeconomic status, parental guidance and support, genetics, and the peer influences are much bigger factors. As long as the child isn't handled at either end of the discipline spectrum (beaten abusively or allowed to do whatever sans consequences), they'll pretty much turn out the way their situation dictates.

It's much more important as a parent to ensure they're hanging around the right kids than it is to fuss over whether to spank or whether to give timeouts.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

In reality, the manner of discipline (time outs vs spanks) is not going to have a huge influence on a child's development. Socioeconomic status, parental guidance and support, genetics, and the peer influences are much bigger factors. As long as the child isn't handled at either end of the discipline spectrum (beaten abusively or allowed to do whatever sans consequences), they'll pretty much turn out the way their situation dictates.

It's much more important as a parent to ensure they're hanging around the right kids than it is to fuss over whether to spank or whether to give timeouts.

That is a good post, I agree.

[KLHJ2]

We have been over this spanking thing before on this site. I gladly and without hesitation spank my kids when the other methods have failed. Spanking never fails and brings them back in line when they are trying to test the boundaries.

[724Skinsfan]

^^^ The key part of that is "when the other methods have failed". My 4 year old has been spanked on the rare occasions that he simply can't get it together. Timeouts work with him much more often than not (93.787% to be exact), as well as taking toys away. My sister told me she tried using timeouts for her kids but it doesn't work. I asked where is their timeout location. She replies, "In their room."....oooooooookay.

[Slingin Sammy 33]

jamf, that chart was ridiculously funny, I can't stop laughing whenever I see it.

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by 724Skinsfan

^^^ The key part of that is "when the other methods have failed". My 4 year old has been spanked on the rare occasions that he simply can't get it together. Timeouts work with him much more often than not (93.787% to be exact), as well as taking toys away. My sister told me she tried using timeouts for her kids but it doesn't work. I asked where is their timeout location. She replies, "In their room."....oooooooookay.

You have to make the timeout location uncomfortable, like restricting them to a single step on the stairs, under the deck or in the trunk of a car.

(not entirely serious)

[BleedBurgundy]

I don't have kids. I was spanked as a kid. I still get a little "ass tingle" going when I think of doing something wrong. lol. I think the parent's demeanor plays a huge role. I remember as a child, if I was acting up, my dad would say "keep it up and you're getting it when we get home." Sure enough, upon arrival, it would be "touch the bottom of the stairs" and get a couple whacks with the belt. No bruising, bleeding, nothing excessive, just calm and measured discipline. Worked like a charm. And the belt was an object of intimidation, didn't actually hurt any worse than the hand. But the fact that he was "holding that evil belt" made it that much worse... I'm cracking up thinking about it. Best part with him was that once you crossed that line and he told you it was coming, you could bet your life on it, no matter how nice you tried to be on the way home...

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by BleedBurgundy

I don't have kids. I was spanked as a kid. I still get a little "ass tingle" going when I think of doing something wrong. lol. I think the parent's demeanor plays a huge role. I remember as a child, if I was acting up, my dad would say "keep it up and you're getting it when we get home." Sure enough, upon arrival, it would be "touch the bottom of the stairs" and get a couple whacks with the belt. No bruising, bleeding, nothing excessive, just calm and measured discipline. Worked like a charm. And the belt was an object of intimidation, didn't actually hurt any worse than the hand. But the fact that he was "holding that evil belt" made it that much worse... I'm cracking up thinking about it. Best part with him was that once you crossed that line and he told you it was coming, you could bet your life on it, no matter how nice you tried to be on the way home...

That's a really good point, my folks always gave me and my sister plenty of warning before we "got it". My wife and I did the same with our son.

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by mredskins

I am so tired of random people giving me parenting advice. Just because you have a small child with you doesn't give others a licenses to open their mouths about how to raise the child. God gave me this one to raise go raise yours or make one of your own, get off my back.


It is worst at work. Yesterday we had a business lunch and I offered to drive some folks. Of course Miss Laid Back Mommy of the year had to come along. She noticed my son's (2 years old) car seat is still facing backwards. Her exact words"OMG that poor child, you must turn that seat around don't be so up tight." I just rolled my eyes and choice to ignore her. It is actually the safest way for him to ride but would I have said that about her 2 years seat facing forward, nope, it is her choice.

Don't get me started on her talking about all the great stuff her son can do at 2, it is an endless stream of BS.

People over-coddle their children so much it's ridiculous. They give in to every want and demand "I WANT TO PLAY WITH THIS! I WANT YOU TO BUY ME THIS! I DON'T WANT TO EAT THIS I WANT WHAT I WANT!" blah blah blah

I would've had my block knocked off as a kid had I done that stuff.

[SolidSnake84]

I didnt take offense to what MRREDSKINS said to me, i didnt want anybody to get that impression from me.

And for the above, i think it's a combination of both for the family that lives on our road. It seems that they had some sort of discipline for the child at some point, but when the parents got religion, it seemed they backed way off. So yes, I think its parenting that is primarily to blame.

We have resolution. Most are trying the time out thing, and resorting to spanking only as a last resort. You go out to town and it's just too clear that there is no discipline whatsoever. And as far as most of the kids have gotten, you know that verbal discipline isn't going to work anymore. A true no win situation.

you don't believe me? just take a good look at the grocery store or walmart sometime...the only reason kids act up like that is because they know they can get away with it, and most of the time, they do it deliberatley.

I agree with the other posters who said their dads or moms gave them plenty of warning before resorting to a spanking...thats how it was for me as well...