ESPN Report: Terrell Owens attempts suicide

[Ade Jimoh Fan Club]

And the circus begins!


Now a serious question: Is this a violation of the substance abuse policy? Should TO be suspended for four games?

If so, I propose a couple of defenses for our good pal:

1) "I thought they were M&M's"
2) "I was too stoned to know what I was doing"
3) "Rosenhaus told me they were magic touchdown pills"
4) "I didn't take all of the pills - I've been selling them to the O-Line for a profit"
5) "Parcells is really stressing me out - blame him"