Whoa, whoa...I wasn't saying ONLY kids with stay-at-home moms do well...simply saying our son is going well and we're satisfied with his development and behavior....and grateful that we're able to raise him the way we want him to be raised rather than trusting another person who we can't be with all day to do the job right.
I know it's not financially feasible for everyone to stay home...most households in today's society/economy need to be 2-income households...mine is no different. I am just fortunate enough to be able to work two jobs and make it possible. My wife bring in income from home as well, but we do see a very noticeable difference between our son and those of friends/coworkers who aren't lucky enough to stay home every day.
Like I said, it's something that every couple, including SS, needs to discuss and agree upon. There is no right or wrong way to parent, you have to do what works for you and your child. As long as someone is a loving and attentive parent, things will most likely be OK. Part of that is making sure your kid is well-cared for and learning your values, no matter if it's in your house or another while you're at work...a responsible parent will make sure the place their child in is always the best it can be in every way. There are a lot of BAD daycares and everyone has relatives they don't see eye-to-eye with...you have to be careful who you leave your kid with.
I don't see how suggesting he and his wife decide upon child care and their careers before the kid is born is ignorant. It would be ignorant NOT to discuss it and make plans.
Don't ruin SS's dad thread with a hot temper.
Smoot, expect heated discussions with your wife, not only during the pregnancy's hormonal rollercoaster, but after the child is born. It's just key to make sure those discussions don't affect the child. It's normal when parents are trying to figure things out, but how you two handle disagreements in front of your child is the key.