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Schneed10 · 09-02-2010, 07:55 AM

I've mentioned before, I have two girls, one almost 4 and the other 13 months. I was 27 when my first was born, and she was an accident. We had planned for basically Scud's exact plan, age 30 for the first.

But the funny thing is, you will never feel completely ready, but you've been ready all along.

There's no mental adjustment that you need to go through. As soon as you hold the child for the first time, a switch will turn on. Suddenly you'll just feel it, everything you do will be with that child in mind, and that thought process will be effortless.

The workload of course is not effortless. Don't be scared of it, you can handle it, but know that it's a lot. Shop for car seats and cribs, paint the nursery, middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, pediatrician trips, scheduling your entire day around the nap schedule, etc.

But the nerves you feel about the idea stem from the unknown. You've simply never cared for an infant before, that's why you feel you're not ready. But you'd be amazed how fast you pick it up. I did not consider myself ready when we had our first, but I'm so glad we did. In a very short time my wife and I felt comfortable and at ease in caring for her.

There will be rough times, you and your wife will be tired and you'll get on each other's nerves and you'll feel stressed at times. Try to recognize the stress as simply a symptom of feeling your way through a new process, and do your best to treat each other with respect. You need each other.

There are things I miss about not having kids. Ability to travel on vacations, ability to spontaneously decide to go catch a ballgame or a movie, etc. But that's replaced by watching the kids play on the beach or in the pool, and it sounds corny, but you'll see how great that is. And besides, having the kids early may cramp your freedom now, but your 50s should be a good time for travel. I'm not sure what's worse, losing your entire 20s to raising children, or going straight from raising children right into retirement.

But I can just tell, SS. You've got your act together, you will be 100% fine, and you will love being a father. When you do have your first it will click for you. You may not feel ready now, but you are, it's obvious to me. Trust yourself and your wife, you will handle it wonderfully and enjoy all the labor that goes into it.

09-02-2010, 07:55 AM	#8
Schneed10 A Dude Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Newtown Square, PA Age: 46 Posts: 12,458	Re: Are You Ready to be a Dad? I've mentioned before, I have two girls, one almost 4 and the other 13 months. I was 27 when my first was born, and she was an accident. We had planned for basically Scud's exact plan, age 30 for the first. But the funny thing is, you will never feel completely ready, but you've been ready all along. There's no mental adjustment that you need to go through. As soon as you hold the child for the first time, a switch will turn on. Suddenly you'll just feel it, everything you do will be with that child in mind, and that thought process will be effortless. The workload of course is not effortless. Don't be scared of it, you can handle it, but know that it's a lot. Shop for car seats and cribs, paint the nursery, middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, pediatrician trips, scheduling your entire day around the nap schedule, etc. But the nerves you feel about the idea stem from the unknown. You've simply never cared for an infant before, that's why you feel you're not ready. But you'd be amazed how fast you pick it up. I did not consider myself ready when we had our first, but I'm so glad we did. In a very short time my wife and I felt comfortable and at ease in caring for her. There will be rough times, you and your wife will be tired and you'll get on each other's nerves and you'll feel stressed at times. Try to recognize the stress as simply a symptom of feeling your way through a new process, and do your best to treat each other with respect. You need each other. There are things I miss about not having kids. Ability to travel on vacations, ability to spontaneously decide to go catch a ballgame or a movie, etc. But that's replaced by watching the kids play on the beach or in the pool, and it sounds corny, but you'll see how great that is. And besides, having the kids early may cramp your freedom now, but your 50s should be a good time for travel. I'm not sure what's worse, losing your entire 20s to raising children, or going straight from raising children right into retirement. But I can just tell, SS. You've got your act together, you will be 100% fine, and you will love being a father. When you do have your first it will click for you. You may not feel ready now, but you are, it's obvious to me. Trust yourself and your wife, you will handle it wonderfully and enjoy all the labor that goes into it. __________________ God made certain people to play football. He was one of them.