Commanders Post at The Warpath - View Single Post

FRPLG · 09-01-2010, 10:45 PM

This is easy to answer. You figure why you'll be in better shape in 1,2,3,4,5 years rather now. You probably won't be. It will never ever seem like a perfect time. If you look at it like a football game where you have to carve out time to get to the stadium and park, then tailgate and get into the stadium, then watch the game and get back out and drive home. Then well you're crazy. Because having kids isn't a finite effort like that. It is both way more work than you can imagine but not nearly as hard. But having kids is by its nature not something that fits your current lifestyle in any way whatsoever. Most people can intellectually grasp that but until they experience it they really have no idea.

So logistically you make it work. The first five years with a kid is a constantly changing set of needs and therefore the logistics are impossible to predict and/or describe. What you will certainly face though is this: you no longer live your life for yourself and your wife. Everything you do...EVERYTHIING now gets filtered through the prism of your child's life. Before you could have regular old fun. You could drop everything and go on a 3 day vacay somewhere. Hit a bar with friends every couple of weeks, have a nice dinner with your wife. All things you do without much thought. They just happen With a kid that stuff doesn't happen the same way. It takes planning and it happens a lot less often. A lot of people look at it like their lives become less fun. I like to look at it like I replaced that fun stuff with more meaningful stuff. Yeah maybe sitting at home and taking the 10:00pm-2:00am shift with the newborn is a killer and makes you wonder what happened in your life but eventually the kid will sleep through the night and ever other day the kid will do something that almost makes you cry.

To me if you're wondering if its a good enough time...then its a good enough time. Only when you KNOW it isn't time is when it really isn't the right time.

09-01-2010, 10:45 PM	#2
FRPLG MVP Join Date: May 2004 Age: 46 Posts: 10,164	Re: Are You Ready to be a Dad? This is easy to answer. You figure why you'll be in better shape in 1,2,3,4,5 years rather now. You probably won't be. It will never ever seem like a perfect time. If you look at it like a football game where you have to carve out time to get to the stadium and park, then tailgate and get into the stadium, then watch the game and get back out and drive home. Then well you're crazy. Because having kids isn't a finite effort like that. It is both way more work than you can imagine but not nearly as hard. But having kids is by its nature not something that fits your current lifestyle in any way whatsoever. Most people can intellectually grasp that but until they experience it they really have no idea. So logistically you make it work. The first five years with a kid is a constantly changing set of needs and therefore the logistics are impossible to predict and/or describe. What you will certainly face though is this: you no longer live your life for yourself and your wife. Everything you do...EVERYTHIING now gets filtered through the prism of your child's life. Before you could have regular old fun. You could drop everything and go on a 3 day vacay somewhere. Hit a bar with friends every couple of weeks, have a nice dinner with your wife. All things you do without much thought. They just happen With a kid that stuff doesn't happen the same way. It takes planning and it happens a lot less often. A lot of people look at it like their lives become less fun. I like to look at it like I replaced that fun stuff with more meaningful stuff. Yeah maybe sitting at home and taking the 10:00pm-2:00am shift with the newborn is a killer and makes you wonder what happened in your life but eventually the kid will sleep through the night and ever other day the kid will do something that almost makes you cry. To me if you're wondering if its a good enough time...then its a good enough time. Only when you KNOW it isn't time is when it really isn't the right time.