F... office dumpers

[SmootSmack]

I have no idea what to say after reading JoeRedskin's post.

"Symphonic" classic...yet disturbing

[MTK]

Originally Posted by TAFKAS

I have no idea what to say after reading JoeRedskin's post.

"Symphonic" classic...yet disturbing

Ummm yeah, hard to top that post.

JoeRedskin just pwned us all

[mooby]

In school, it's like a mortal sin to take a dump. If you do, and somebody walks in, your in trouble, because they will walk out, grab anyone walking around in the halls, and bring them to the scene to laugh at you when you come out the door.

That's why i never eat breakfast, and i always save it for when i'm home. One time i did eat breakfast, and i ended up using the restroom before school started, luckily nobody caught me because i went to a rarely used men's teachers bathroom at the back of the school that isn't locked.

As for the people at work that do that often, maybe they just sit on the john and pretend they're taking a dump, and look at their cell phones or something, just so they can get paid while not actually working.

[steveo395]

Originally Posted by mooby

In school, it's like a mortal sin to take a dump. If you do, and somebody walks in, your in trouble, because they will walk out, grab anyone walking around in the halls, and bring them to the scene to laugh at you when you come out the door.

That's why i never eat breakfast, and i always save it for when i'm home. One time i did eat breakfast, and i ended up using the restroom before school started, luckily nobody caught me because i went to a rarely used men's teachers bathroom at the back of the school that isn't locked.

As for the people at work that do that often, maybe they just sit on the john and pretend they're taking a dump, and look at their cell phones or something, just so they can get paid while not actually working.

dude ice been in school for like 1`2 years or we and ive never taken a dump mad nicccccccce

[FRPLG]

Originally Posted by JoeRedskin

This may be TMI (though at this point, can we ever really say that about anything again), but several years ago I had large portions of my insides removed. The net effect was to make me hit the can on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately for my coworkers, the bathroom is pretty much unusuable after one of my sojourns.

I get symphonic (I am putting extra sound proofing in the bathroom I am installing in our basement - Yes, it's THAT loud), it stinks to high hell (even I gag - that's pretty bad), and sometimes it's splatter shit (consistency is an inside joke in my home - my wife will ask "So, were you squirting soup or dumping dough?"). But guess what folks? I am too f...ing old to care and, even if I did, I ain't got any other options. But, hey, I leave the fan on.

I actually have seen coworkers turn around when they see me exit. Once, one unsuspecting soul walked in and, as I walked off, I heard something along the lines of "OH MY GOD, KILL ME NOW!". I just laughed knowingly to myself.

Ah well, if it didn't stink like shit, we wouldn't do it in private.

Is this officially the END of the internet? I feel abused now.

[BigSKINBauer]

yeah when someone is doing number 2 in school you take a paper towel, get it all nice and wet, get another few and do the same thing, and throw them over the door. Its not like they are going to get up and do anything.

[EternalEnigma21]

Originally Posted by BigSKINBauer

yeah when someone is doing number 2 in school you take a paper towel, get it all nice and wet, get another few and do the same thing, and throw them over the door. Its not like they are going to get up and do anything.

That doesn't change when you get out of school. I dump at the office all the time. Its the only time to get some real good Tetris time in.

But when you get older you'll realize that you can arm yourself inside the stall and listen for the door, and aim a piss soaked tp wad right at it... then who's laughing!

[NAVYSKINSFAN]

Office dumping is nothing. Try being crammed into a large berthing with 70 other dudes for six months on a ship. Understand that we are eating crappy food the whole time inclding Class D beef prepared by high school drop outs who were told by a judge "join the military or go to jail". We shared three showeres, six sinks, 2 pissers, and three toilets. With that many people there were almost always at least 2 people at a time dumping. The worst part of all is that there is no cleaning lady at sea! I feelt really bad for all those poor guys junior to me who had to clean them every day. LOL

[jbcjr14]

I have heard the military shitters can be quite nasty, but at the end of the day are some of the cleanest.

[Monkeydad]

This is now one thread I regret ever opening.:tongue

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Buster, your screenname suggests you could be QUITE the office dumper.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Originally Posted by BDBohnzie

in the building, each floor has facilities, men's with 4 stalls...it's a riot when they're all full and the bathroom smells like a chicken farm (Brud knows what I'm talking about)

you mean the bathroom smells like Salisbury's campus? Good times...

[Monksdown]

it's not office dumping, its seeing flops on my blackberry.

[gibbsisgod]

I can get in a full 10 frames of bowling during one of my sessions, so office dumping seems like a good way to kill some time.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Bill Simmons hadone of his email bags last year that included a request from a reader that he put little reminders to all the people that print out his stories and read them on the crapper. They would say things like "It's been about 15 minutes, the boss might start looking for you soon," I thought it was a great idea because I've been known to print out articles to read them in the bathroom.