The Moderator Poll

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

Sammy Baugh Fan I'll need you as groundskeeper and you can provide musical entertainment along with Joe Redskin.

SBF might be a good choice for the musical entertainment; I, however, will cost you the election since about all I can do is Russian Drone in medieval chant (just a hint - NOT a big seller).

Sorry Smoot - since you are obviously so detached from the electorate as to not know our abilities, I have to cast my vote with Matty in gratitude for his hard work on the site. Plus, as you may know, since you have Daseal on your team, I would probably burst into flames if I signed on.

It's a real shame you've alienated me Smoot - I can pull in the swing "nimwit" vote. Now, all the idiots will vote for Matty.

[MTK]

I'm not picky, I'll take the idiot vote

[SmootSmack]

JoeRedskin I was looking to revive the Gregorian Chant fad of the early 90s and figured you would be perfect to go along with the musical stylings of Sammy Baugh fan and of course SkinsRock (I didn't forget you!).

Damn shame to see you leave for the dark side.

Next stop on the campaign trail: Hartselle, Alabama. Hogskin I plan on setting up campaign headquarters in your game room

[SmootSmack]

I hope I don't have to resort to using this LOL

Daseal I'll put you in charge of operating this on the front lawn to keep the riff-raff out....unless, of course, some of my constituents are said riff-raff.

[Dave Butz Baby!]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

I hope I don't have to resort to using this LOL

Daseal I'll put you in charge of operating this on the front lawn to keep the riff-raff out....unless, of course, some of my constituents are said riff-raff.

Dude, if you don't let in the riff-raff, you're gonna have one lonely party... they're the ones bringing the beer! Who else you know is going to arrive with Natty Lite and then brag about bringing "the Good Stuff"?

And FWIW, my redhead hasn't arrived yet. C'mon UPS.... bring me my goods!

You did remember to put a hole in the box, right?



Smoot/Ade '04!

[SmootSmack]

Vote Smack/Jimoh '04 and get this complimentary mug to put your Natty Lite and Milwaukee's Best (aka The Beast!) in.



By the way where is Ade Jimoh Fan Club?

ButzBaby, I think UPS inadvertently sent you the wrong redhead:

[Dave Butz Baby!]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

By the way where is Ade Jimoh Fan Club?

ButzBaby, I think UPS inadvertently sent you the wrong redhead:

OMG.... Wilma is so effing HOT!

But she's no Betty Rubble.



And duh... Ade is obviously somewhere you're not. Perhaps he's holed up in a bunker or at Camp David... for security reasons and all. To guarantee continuity, we just can't have you two in the same place at the same time should there be an "incident".



SS/AJFC '04, Baby!

[Daseal]

Woah Woah Woah! In the SMootsmack offices we drink only PABST BLUE RIBBON! Either that or I'm out!

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by Daseal

Woah Woah Woah! In the SMootsmack offices we drink only PABST BLUE RIBBON! Either that or I'm out!

We can't discriminate here but I'm sure we can work something out to satisfy everyone. Can't lose Daseal!

[BrudLee]

OK.
To recap - at the present time, I (who kicks all forms of ass) am losing to nearly every moderator. Let's take a closer look at this slate.

MattyK - yes, he started, runs, and funds this website. Big F---ing deal. He lives in New York - home of the hated (yet pitied) Giants, the Super Bowl Patsies in Buffalo, and our farm team, the Jets. This entire website is very likely a way for him to spy on us, and report to his New York bosses. Way to waste your votes.

joecrisp - Believe me, it hurts me a great deal to trash-talk Joe. I can't think of anyone who has enjoyed his articles more than I have, except perhaps for Paul Woody, who quotes them verbatim. The sad truth though, is that he was just as floored as the rest of us when Joe Gibbs signed back on as coach - which means his vaunted skills as an investigative reporter amount to diddly-poo. You might well choose Ralph Nader as best mod.

Bozzy - Though Bozzy and I have political disagreements, I respect and admire his passion for his political beliefs. I will say this though - he did not vote for the $87 million for our troops. Those are our men out there, Bozzy (if that is your real name). These colors don't run.

smootsmack - You know, it wasn't so long ago that smootsmack was like you and I are. We posted regularly, went to church on holidays and when they served wine, and dreamed about our favorite team, the Redskins. Not smootsmack. With his secret partner, the Devil, he is attempting to systematically enslave all fans of the mighty Redskins. Clearly, his insidious plan is already working. Ignore his empty promises and treat them like the lies only his forked tongue can weave.

Ramseyfan - I'm going to operate under the assumption that some of you are in legal trouble. I'm aware that Ramseyfan has been "getting some book-learning", and he has perhaps promised you he can help. These are more lies from the white man. Believe me, no one can help you until you help yourself, regardless of what Ramseyfan has promised you.

RedskinRat - Finally, someone I am beating! And honestly, the only moderator on this list besides me who's worth a damn. He is, however, not American. Whether or not he is here legally, I can't say. I'm not 100% sure he has the interest of the nation's security at heart, either (if you know what I'm saying). Great guy, though.

So, to recap, it's 95 minutes until my birthday, and I'm getting horse-whipped in the polls. If you want to send me a present, rope would be nice - go ahead and tie the f---ing noose in it if you want to save me some time. Bastards.

[SKINSnCANES]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

I love it! "Smack and Jimoh in O' Fo'" I'm bringing Crazy Canuck aboard to balance the budget, SportsCurmudgeon to keep us all in check. SkinsnCanes will provide the redheads et al. via Miami and I gotta have Daseal because well why not? Any one else want to join the winning party?

redheads?!?! No way man, if you want my help ill get teh blondes, ive got a big thing for blondes. Of course my girlfriends hair is red and blonde...but still, hard to find redheads in miami. Ever seen a latin redhead?

But you included me in a party that involves money and women, so i guess im aboard the SmootSmack bandwagon. Smoot was the first to welcome me and well blah blah, you are all great and the message board is an awesome thing to have. if you guys ever need anyhelp let me know, if you havent noticed i just the board and post every now and again.

OH, and Matty im not voting for you until I get a different icon, the player maker is the same as the first round draft choice and its driving me nuts. Heh

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by BrudLee

OK.
MattyK - Way to waste your votes.

RedskinRat - the only moderator on this list besides me who's worth a damn.

So, to recap, it's 95 minutes until my birthday, and I'm getting horse-whipped in the polls. If you want to send me a present, rope would be nice - go ahead and tie the f---ing noose in it if you want to save me some time. Bastards.

So according to Bruce Wayne the Bat-Moderator, votes for the founder are a waste. The only moderators worth a damn are himself and RedskinRat, and the rest of you are bastards.

Way to win votes Brud!

[MTK]

BL going on the offensive slinging a little mud, I like it!

Just remember BL, I brought you in to this forum and I can take you out!

LOL

[BrudLee]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

So according to Bruce Wayne the Bat-Moderator, votes for the founder are a waste. The only moderators worth a damn are himself and RedskinRat, and the rest of you are bastards.

Way to win votes Brud!

I may or may not have been a little tipsy during that writing. Personally, I think that only enhances my street cred as a gonzo moderator who doesn't care whose toes he steps on.

HARDCORE!

[SkinsRock]

Originally Posted by smootsmack

JoeRedskin I was looking to revive the Gregorian Chant fad of the early 90s and figured you would be perfect to go along with the musical stylings of Sammy Baugh fan and of course SkinsRock (I didn't forget you!).

Ok, you all do a great job, but after much debating between a couple of you (yeah, "the founder" and "the reporter"), I have finally placed my vote for you Smootsmack instead for remembering me and my geetar skillz! :headbange ROCK ON!!!

Oh, and I prefer blondes...