First Time Fatherhood

[Ruhskins]

Congrats skinsguy! I recently joined the fatherhood club, I have a three month old baby girl. Here's what I've learned so far:

- Enjoy your time with your wife as much as possible, because things will be different once the baby arrives. We went to Disney World at the end of my wife's first trimester and we had a lot of fun. Went out to restaurants, movies, and whatnot. Also, enjoy your sleep now as much as you can.

- Throw any concepts of "planning" out the window.

- Make sure you pack yourself a "Dad" bag when you go to the hospital. Your wife will be taken care of at the hospital, but you won't. There are some useful ideas on what to bring online.

- Don't worry about buying a lot of clothes for your baby. Your family and friends will probably buy a ton of clothes as gifts. Especially if you are having a girl.

- You will learn how to handle your baby. When I first picked up my daughter and had to change her diaper, you would have thought I was handling a slippery ticking time bomb. By the time I left the hospital, I was a pro at changing diapers and carrying her around.

- Make sure you and your wife check each other's patience level, because the baby will test it. And don't feel bad when it happens. There were some times when my wife would tell me to take a break and would take the baby, because she could tell my patience was running low. And there were times when I would do the same to her.

- You will learn to deal with the lack of sleep. Since I'm in grad school, I was used to little sleep (although this is different). But my wife wasn't, and she managed the lack of sleep very well. I would say the first three weeks are the toughest. The best thing to do is to take turns with your wife in terms of sleeping and taking care of the baby. I was lucky that I was able to take almost four weeks off work.

- Be ready for your baby to puke on you, pee on you, and poop on you. I had those three things happen to me in one day.

- If you have a dog, try to remember they exist every once in a while.

- There's going to be a lot of trial and error, be patient about it.

- Make sure you are equal partners with your wife in terms of the taking care of the baby. Take turns changing diapers, feeding the baby, burping the baby, and playing with the baby. Also take turn with the chores (for the first week or so, I felt like I was washing bottles every hour). When you return to work and your wife stays and home with the baby, remember that taking care of that baby is A LOT of work. Make sure you give your wife a break when you get home.

- Take lots of pictures of your baby and enjoy the experience. There are very few things like it.

[over the mountain]

get a bookbag designed for babies instead of a traditional diaper bag.

i have an eddie bauer bookbag and it has an insulated side pocket for bottles/sippy cups and all the necessary compartments and what not for diapers, wipes, snacks, toys, whatever.

I found that a diaper bag would just slip down my shoulder and be real annoying when i had to carry my daughter bc she didnt want to be in he stroller anymore, push her stroller, carry her sippy cup or some other things etc ...

i was in the french quarter w my daughter and had all of the above going on and trying to navigate curbs etc and then i saw this dad with 2 or 3 kids and he was handling things great and i realized he was wearing a bookbag and he wasnt constantly battling this diaper bag that just wants to slide down off my shoulder every 4 steps.

daddy book bag. genius.

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

True indeed. Me and some friends were talking about the same thing because I told them that my wife and I declined to have the test. I looked at it like I'd rather find out once the baby was born as opposed to knowing now because like you said I'm going to love that child no matter what. And 2, if I know now that's just a whole lot of worry and stress that I'll endure, and to be honest. To hell with me, my wife will have that on her mind and I didn't want that on her. I say don't worry. You guys get the test, you already know what your decision will be either way but I know we did it with our son but figured why bother with this one.

The Old Wives Tale I was told and it's held true with my two so far lol is that if she had morning sickness then it's a girl. If not, then it's a boy. I've been told on a few occasions that this is complete boulderdash but it was true in my cases. Enjoy it my man ! Watch everything, it's the most beautiful disgusting thing that you will EVER see.

I've also heard that if she experiences a lot of acid reflux (which she has) then it's going to be a hairy baby, lol! Well, she is Italian, so that's probably going to be the case, lol! We're going to give birth to a bearded baby boy, lol!!!!

[skinsguy]

Ruhskins & Over The Mountain: Excellent advice, guys! Much appreciated! I like the idea of the daddy book-bag! I'm already looking into things that will make it as hands-free as possible. Such as the thingy to strap the baby to you so you're not pushing him/her in the stroller all the time or carrying him/her. The sleep thing I'm sort of worried about. I can make it on five hours of sleep, but any less than that and I'm just a puddle of mud, lol! I know I'll adjust, but that part is going to be interesting. I'm going to try to take some time off in the beginning, because I think dads need some type of maternity leave like the moms do! I probably could take a month off, but maybe if I could at least take a couple weeks off in the beginning, that would help!

We have already gotten some clothes donations, and I have a feeling we won't have to buy many clothes for the baby. We're also blessed in that my brother and siter-in-law have four kids - all ranging from 10 down to 3 or 4, so we might be able to get their hand-me-downs!

How did you guys handle the mood factor with your wives? My wife's emotions have been all over the place! I've learned to pick my battles, hahaha!!!

[Giantone]

Originally Posted by skinsguy

How did you guys handle the mood factor with your wives? My wife's emotions have been all over the place! I've learned to pick my battles, hahaha!!!

ok ,here ya go ....

1) when you know you're wrong ,admit you're wrong

2) when you're not sure who is wrong ,admit you're wrong .

3) Now when you are sure she is 150% wrong , admit you're wrong !

................things will always run smooth !(nope that is BS)

[Ruhskins]

Originally Posted by skinsguy

How did you guys handle the mood factor with your wives? My wife's emotions have been all over the place! I've learned to pick my battles, hahaha!!!

I was pretty lucky that my wife didn't go completely off the chart with her emotions. She was definitely miserable during the first and third trimester. And I'm sure your wife will be the same during that last trimester. During this time they'll barely sleep and be super uncomfortable.

After the baby was born, she did have a couple of crying episodes. I would say avoid any conflicts, help her out as much as possible, and just be ready for the emotional episodes to happen.

[over the mountain]

my lady told me she was constantly having the mental image of putting on a high heel shoe and driving the heel through my eye ball.

[skinsguy]

My wife is taking a much deserved trip to Tennessee this weekend to visit her best friend. Of course, she left me a big "honey do" list of things she wanted done while she was away. It kind of made me a bit upset, because I actually had planned to work on a lot of things while she was gone - simply because there would be nobody there to get me off track on my house projects and I feel more accomplished when it's not on someone's lists! But you better believe that I'm going to enjoy my time at home with peace and quite! I got things on the DVR I can watch, beer in the fridge, pizza.....of course after I do some P90X, lol!

[Dirtbag59]

Originally Posted by skinsguy

How did you guys handle the mood factor with your wives? My wife's emotions have been all over the place! I've learned to pick my battles, hahaha!!!

Lets check in with Marriage correspondent Ray Rice.

#TooSoon #NotCoolDirtbag #You'reProbablyNotBetterThanThisButYouShouldAtLeas tActLikeYouArePlusThisHashTagIsWay2Long #NoThereIsNotASpaceBetweenLeastAndActOnPreviousHas h #DammitStupidFormatting

[MonkFan4Life]

Originally Posted by skinsguy

My wife is taking a much deserved trip to Tennessee this weekend to visit her best friend. Of course, she left me a big "honey do" list of things she wanted done while she was away. It kind of made me a bit upset, because I actually had planned to work on a lot of things while she was gone - simply because there would be nobody there to get me off track on my house projects and I feel more accomplished when it's not on someone's lists! But you better believe that I'm going to enjoy my time at home with peace and quite! I got things on the DVR I can watch, beer in the fridge, pizza.....of course after I do some P90X, lol!

DEAR GOD COMPLETE THAT LIST!!!

When she gets home offer a foot rub. It helps. Every one was right about you being wrong until she deems you worthy of being right lol!

[skinsguy]

LOL! I got most of the list done, plus a couple of other major tasks I had to get out of the way. LOL! I think she was afraid I was going to sit home and play Madden the whole weekend while drinking beer. I never even touched Madden, lol!

[over the mountain]

Ive been told kids are like dogs.

I have 2 dogs. one puppy was very mellow when i saw him in the shelter, didnt bark and was low key and he grew up to be a good obedient dog. the other was a raging barking bitch when i saw her at the shelter and was jumping up, my then girlfriend wanted her and that dog has grown up to be a raging barking bitch.

my daughter is very cool, doesnt cry a lot and is just an awesome little thing. she is 2 yrs and 3 months. she is starting to not listen, or keep doing something after I tell her no.

How do you start disciplining a 2 year old?

I dont want to put her in her crib bc then she will not want to lay down at night.

I dont want to start lightly spanking her.

She is too young to understand the concept of sitting in a chair in the corner (i think - probably lead to major melt downs and throw gas on the fire)

Should i smack her hand?
Should I send her to her room for a few minutes?

not quite sure how to approach this. power bombing her on the bed doesnt work either. she just laughs and thinks its all fun and games.

[Giantone]

Originally Posted by over the mountain

Ive been told kids are like dogs.

I have 2 dogs. one puppy was very mellow when i saw him in the shelter, didnt bark and was low key and he grew up to be a good obedient dog. the other was a raging barking bitch when i saw her at the shelter and was jumping up, my then girlfriend wanted her and that dog has grown up to be a raging barking bitch.

my daughter is very cool, doesnt cry a lot and is just an awesome little thing. she is 2 yrs and 3 months. she is starting to not listen, or keep doing something after I tell her no.

How do you start disciplining a 2 year old?

I dont want to put her in her crib bc then she will not want to lay down at night.

I dont want to start lightly spanking her.

She is too young to understand the concept of sitting in a chair in the corner (i think - probably lead to major melt downs and throw gas on the fire)

Should i smack her hand?
Should I send her to her room for a few minutes?

not quite sure how to approach this. power bombing her on the bed doesnt work either. she just laughs and thinks its all fun and games.

I use to have a Chocolate Lab....dogs are more like kids !(JMO)

Smacking her hand (or bottom) is something you and your wife need to talk about.(corporal punishment) Many people are against and would report if done in public ,just saying .My daughter is real good with my grandson who is 3 and loves to test her , she just tries to reason with him and does so in a manor so calm that it does calm him down and then they move on .

[EARTHQUAKE2689]

Originally Posted by Giantone

I use to have a Chocolate Lab....dogs are more like kids !(JMO)

Smacking her hand (or bottom) is something you and your wife need to talk about.(corporal punishment) Many people are against and would report if done in public ,just saying .My daughter is real good with my grandson who is 3 and loves to test her , she just tries to reason with him and does so in a manor so calm that it does calm him down and then they move on .

Either way can be effective. My parents used to kick my ass in a way that made you think I was being jumped in to a gang, but one of my brothers didn't get whipped until he was 12. People could report it if done in public, but they can eat a di*k. They can discipline their kids their way and I will do mine my way.

[over the mountain]

we arent considering spanking or smacking her hand. weve never spanked or smacked her hand.

i probably shoudnt have mentioned it as it is not an option.

shes a great kid just getting into a defiant stage