Super Happy Fun Thread!

[SmootSmack]

'Web Cam 101 For Seniors' Turns Oregon Oldsters Into YouTube Celebrities

[RedskinRat]

Seems legit, although he did offer to marry me in exchange for $30,000

When the newly-appointed chief of the CIA offers to marry you in exchange to help him cash a few pay cheques he earned from the recent campaign that toppled the Gaddafi regime, who wouldn't jump at the chance?
One Taiwanese engineer grasped the opportunity with both hands and as well as wiring her 'fiancé' $30,000, she also managed to get herself arrested.
Liu Hsu-jen claims she was contacted by a man claiming to be the newly sworn-in Director of the Central Intelligence Agency David Petraeus on the Internet four months ago.
The married general asked for the engineer's hand, vowing to marry her, 'even if it will start World War III'.
He then promised that he would fly to Taipei to fetch his new bride on a U.S. military plane and bring her back to the U.S. All she had to do was wire him the $30,000 to help for fuel expenses.

[Monkeydad]

[Monkeydad]

Celebs without eyebrows:

[Dirtbag59]

[Monkeydad]

[Monkeydad]

[mooby]

Only Percy Harvin can make guys lose bowel control.

[Alvin Walton]

[Dirtbag59]

[RedskinRat]

NFC East
Washington Redskins 2 0 0
Dallas Cowboys 1 1 0
Philadelphia Eagles 1 1 0
New York Giants 1 1 0

[firstdown]

A Male Fairy Tale:

Once upon a time , a Prince asked a beautiful Princess , "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said , "No!!!" And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode
motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted bitches and hunted and
fished and raced cars and went to naked bars, got blow jobs from strippers and
dated women half his age
and drank whiskey , beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and
never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his
house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous
farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and
family thought he was frikin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the
bank and left the toilet seat up.
The end.

[firstdown]

had to pass this on...

MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 poundsbefore I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!

[Monkeydad]

Nice copy/paste job. The spelling is impeccable.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Monkeydad

Nice copy/paste job. The spelling is impeccable.

I didn't read it as his own words; actually I knew it was not his own words because i could read it.