First Time Fatherhood

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by mredskins

You will be surprised how much football will take a back seat to your kids. At least for me I rather spend time with them then watching the Skins.

On the same hand you need to make time for yourself; it is important.

That is why I am so glad for the invention of the DVR!

[CooleyAsCanBe]

Originally Posted by skinsguy

Since joining this board almost a decade ago (wow, has it been THAT long), I know some of you guys have become first time fathers. Heck, some of you first time fathers have become second, third and fourth time fathers by now. Well, my wife and I are expecting our first in December. It's still a little early to make an official announcement, but we're so excited that we can't seem to keep it to ourselves.

Now, my wife bought me a "Fatherhood Survival Kit book" (I'm paraphrasing I don't know the exact title right off the top of my head) which I plan on reading cover to cover. But, I figured I'd get some "real life" testimonies, if you will, from some of you guys here who have recently (in the past several years) have become first time Dads. Heck, even those who have been Dads for awhile.

What was it like initially for you? Was it a "Oh crap, here goes the rest of my life" feeling or did you think of it as a cool new addition to an already pretty cool life? Did you think fatherhood changed you in anyway? Did you think it aged you (other than maybe maturing you?) Or, do you still feel as young as ever, just maybe a bit more grounded?

Congratulations, Skinsguy! I had one kid when I joined Warpath around the same time as you. Now I've got five (yeah, you read that right).

Life changes and there are sacrifices, but it's all certainly worthwhile.

My advice: always give more love than you think necessary; be patient and let them act like kids (it's easy to expect too much of them); work together with your wife and be consistent in disciplining your kids, but always follow-up discipline with a sincere showing of love; and as they get older make sure they see how much you love your wife and that she always comes first. Last one may seem counter-intuitive, but it makes for a stronger home and sets a good foundation for your kids' future relationships.

Fatherhood is outstanding. You're the best dad your kid(s) can have.

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by CooleyAsCanBe

Congratulations, Skinsguy! I had one kid when I joined Warpath around the same time as you. Now I've got five (yeah, you read that right).

Life changes and there are sacrifices, but it's all certainly worthwhile.

My advice: always give more love than you think necessary; be patient and let them act like kids (it's easy to expect too much of them); work together with your wife and be consistent in disciplining your kids, but always follow-up discipline with a sincere showing of love; and as they get older make sure they see how much you love your wife and that she always comes first. Last one may seem counter-intuitive, but it makes for a stronger home and sets a good foundation for your kids' future relationships.

Fatherhood is outstanding. You're the best dad your kid(s) can have.

Awesome advice CooleyAsCanBe! Thanks so much for your input! It definitely sounds like you have your hands full! 5 kids! WOW!!!!!

[Giantone]

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by Giantone

I think every dad should have this motto going through his head! Lord knows I want to live up to that!

[Schneed10]

I have lots of thoughts, my girls are 7 and 4 now.

- The baby phase is the most wonderful thing you'll never want to do again. It's a wild ride, so many wonderful emotions. But the workload hits like a ton of bricks and the lack of sleep is brutal.

- I'd like to say you get used to changing diapers, but I didn't. So glad that phase is behind me.

- It definitely does test a marriage. Best advice I can give is be on the lookout for your wife, and have her on the lookout for you. Watch for signs of needing that break, and give it to her when you can. You'll know the look, she'll be in need of a night out with friends or just a night of uninterrupted sleep. Give it to her when you can, and ask her to do the same for you.

- I was already big on being responsible with money, having a kid made me even more so. As soon as you lay eyes on them for the first time it hits you that you're responsible for giving this kid every advantage you possibly can. And you'll want to.

- You sacrifice a lot for your kids. But the funny thing is you'll want to.

- Being a first time parent is scary as hell, but you'll be shocked how you'll instinctively know what to do. It will come naturally so don't be anxious about the unknown.

- Vaccinate your kids, for God's sake.

- Your life will change drastically. In the baby phase it's hard to imagine leaving the house for a bit. But take the baby out to breakfast, even if it's just Panera Bread or something, and you'll realize that life does go on post-kids. You can eat out as a family and enjoy some of the same things.

- And lastly, while your life will completely change and frazzle you plenty of times, you'll never want to go back. Now when I think about my funeral someday, the #1 thing I hope people say about me is that I was a great father. Being a father is terrific and I think you'll feel the same.

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

I have lots of thoughts, my girls are 7 and 4 now.

- The baby phase is the most wonderful thing you'll never want to do again. It's a wild ride, so many wonderful emotions. But the workload hits like a ton of bricks and the lack of sleep is brutal.

- I'd like to say you get used to changing diapers, but I didn't. So glad that phase is behind me.

- It definitely does test a marriage. Best advice I can give is be on the lookout for your wife, and have her on the lookout for you. Watch for signs of needing that break, and give it to her when you can. You'll know the look, she'll be in need of a night out with friends or just a night of uninterrupted sleep. Give it to her when you can, and ask her to do the same for you.

- I was already big on being responsible with money, having a kid made me even more so. As soon as you lay eyes on them for the first time it hits you that you're responsible for giving this kid every advantage you possibly can. And you'll want to.

- You sacrifice a lot for your kids. But the funny thing is you'll want to.

- Being a first time parent is scary as hell, but you'll be shocked how you'll instinctively know what to do. It will come naturally so don't be anxious about the unknown.

- Vaccinate your kids, for God's sake.

- Your life will change drastically. In the baby phase it's hard to imagine leaving the house for a bit. But take the baby out to breakfast, even if it's just Panera Bread or something, and you'll realize that life does go on post-kids. You can eat out as a family and enjoy some of the same things.

- And lastly, while your life will completely change and frazzle you plenty of times, you'll never want to go back. Now when I think about my funeral someday, the #1 thing I hope people say about me is that I was a great father. Being a father is terrific and I think you'll feel the same.

Good post Schneed10! I don't dare think I'm going to be prepared, because the truth is, I don't think one is ever truly prepared for fatherhood. But like you said, instinct kicks in and, just like the ol' Nike catch phrase, you "just do it"! I love babies (when I can hold them and give them back, lol) but I'll be looking more forward to the time when my children are past the baby stage. Let's face it, past the no sleep stage, lol!

[Dirtbag59]

Congrads man. Really happy for you. A couple of my friends are becoming fathers these days and it really has been a great experience for them. They still won't tell me how babies are made but I'll get it out of them eventually.

With that said please keep the following in mind. If you give your kid weird spelling of a common name like Loryn, Alyce, Jayson, Jakob, Markus, Kristopher or God forbid Aimee (with 2 F$*$*& E"S) I will call social services on you so quick you won't know what hit you. I will also put a bunch of cuban cigars as well as Embargoed Gold in your basement and place a call to US Customs just in case social services drops the ball.

Same applies if you go the Hollywood route and decide to name your kid something like Apple or North West.

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by Dirtbag59

Congrads man. Really happy for you. A couple of my friends are becoming fathers these days and it really has been a great experience for them. They still won't tell me how babies are made but I'll get it out of them eventually.

With that said please keep the following in mind. If you give your kid weird spelling of a common name like Loryn, Alyce, Jayson, Jakob, Markus, Kristopher or God forbid Aimee (with 2 F$*$*& E"S) I will call social services on you so quick you won't know what hit you. I will also put a bunch of cuban cigars as well as Embargoed Gold in your basement and place a call to US Customs just in case social services drops the ball.

Same applies if you go the Hollywood route and decide to name your kid something like Apple or North West.

LOL!!! Thanks Dirtbag! Well, I can tell you that we have settled on a girl's name. Sophia - Sophie for short (even though it's the same exact number of letters, lol!) Have not settled on a boy's name just yet. I kind of like Benjamin but not sure what his middle name would be.

[CooleyAsCanBe]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

I have lots of thoughts, my girls are 7 and 4 now.

- The baby phase is the most wonderful thing you'll never want to do again. It's a wild ride, so many wonderful emotions. But the workload hits like a ton of bricks and the lack of sleep is brutal.

- I'd like to say you get used to changing diapers, but I didn't. So glad that phase is behind me.

- It definitely does test a marriage. Best advice I can give is be on the lookout for your wife, and have her on the lookout for you. Watch for signs of needing that break, and give it to her when you can. You'll know the look, she'll be in need of a night out with friends or just a night of uninterrupted sleep. Give it to her when you can, and ask her to do the same for you.

- I was already big on being responsible with money, having a kid made me even more so. As soon as you lay eyes on them for the first time it hits you that you're responsible for giving this kid every advantage you possibly can. And you'll want to.

- You sacrifice a lot for your kids. But the funny thing is you'll want to.

- Being a first time parent is scary as hell, but you'll be shocked how you'll instinctively know what to do. It will come naturally so don't be anxious about the unknown.

- Vaccinate your kids, for God's sake.

- Your life will change drastically. In the baby phase it's hard to imagine leaving the house for a bit. But take the baby out to breakfast, even if it's just Panera Bread or something, and you'll realize that life does go on post-kids. You can eat out as a family and enjoy some of the same things.

- And lastly, while your life will completely change and frazzle you plenty of times, you'll never want to go back. Now when I think about my funeral someday, the #1 thing I hope people say about me is that I was a great father. Being a father is terrific and I think you'll feel the same.

Great post Schneed. Fun times.

[over the mountain]

tip - never ask the mother of your child why she seems angry in the morning ... bc she will kill you.

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by over the mountain

tip - never ask the mother of your child why she seems angry in the morning ... bc she will kill you.

Heck I'm finding that out even before the baby gets here!

[MonkFan4Life]

Great post Schneed ! Being a father is quite awesome. My son is now 6 and 2 days before his 6th birthday this genius falls off our deck ! About a 12 foot fall give or take and how he didn't break a bone in his body I still don't know. They will test you.....man will they test you but that first time you pick them up from somewhere and they sprint towards you screaming Daddy.......Priceless ! Enjoy it, remember that that child is a miniature you and that whatever you did trust me they will as well lol !

Well congrats on the new addition skinsguy. Take pictures, record as much as you want because things change very quickly. Once they sit up they're crawling. Once they take that first step they'll be running. Once they mumble they'll be carrying on conversations with you.

I have baby #2 coming this September, this one is a girl. Waiting for my NRA Menbership Card to come in the mail now.

[skinsguy]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

Great post Schneed ! Being a father is quite awesome. My son is now 6 and 2 days before his 6th birthday this genius falls off our deck ! About a 12 foot fall give or take and how he didn't break a bone in his body I still don't know. They will test you.....man will they test you but that first time you pick them up from somewhere and they sprint towards you screaming Daddy.......Priceless ! Enjoy it, remember that that child is a miniature you and that whatever you did trust me they will as well lol !

Well congrats on the new addition skinsguy. Take pictures, record as much as you want because things change very quickly. Once they sit up they're crawling. Once they take that first step they'll be running. Once they mumble they'll be carrying on conversations with you.

I have baby #2 coming this September, this one is a girl. Waiting for my NRA Menbership Card to come in the mail now.

Congratulations MonkFan4Life! And yeah, my wife doesn't like for me to own any guns, but I told her if we have a girl, it becomes a necessity for fathers!

I'm getting really nervous, because we're about six weeks out from learning what the sex is going to be, and to check to make sure there is no intellectual disability issue. My wife asked me last night if I would be OK with the baby if he/she wound up having an intellectual disability. I don't believe in abortion and feel each child is special in God's eyes, but I'm not going to lie - it really frightened me to think about the possibility of that. I would love and care for my child no matter what, but I know how difficult it would be to take care of a child with an I.D. issue - especially the older they get. I know that can be a big challenge for marriages! But like I said, I will love her/him no matter what, because he/she will be my flesh and blood!

[MonkFan4Life]

True indeed. Me and some friends were talking about the same thing because I told them that my wife and I declined to have the test. I looked at it like I'd rather find out once the baby was born as opposed to knowing now because like you said I'm going to love that child no matter what. And 2, if I know now that's just a whole lot of worry and stress that I'll endure, and to be honest. To hell with me, my wife will have that on her mind and I didn't want that on her. I say don't worry. You guys get the test, you already know what your decision will be either way but I know we did it with our son but figured why bother with this one.

The Old Wives Tale I was told and it's held true with my two so far lol is that if she had morning sickness then it's a girl. If not, then it's a boy. I've been told on a few occasions that this is complete boulderdash but it was true in my cases. Enjoy it my man ! Watch everything, it's the most beautiful disgusting thing that you will EVER see.