Drunk Tales

[724Skinsfan]

HAHA That reminds me of another time that I had an urgent need to puke and had to take a massive crap. I guess I was so used to puking in a toilet that I had the awesome idea of puking in the the toilet while crapping in the waste paper basket (wire mesh). I was busy with cleanup for about a half hour.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

I've pulled off the puke-while-pissing move a couple of times. I call that multi-tasking.

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

GOD, I hate that. I've had that once and I was sitting on the toilet and was puking in the bathtub.

JUST LOOK WHAT THIS THREAD HAS BECOME

[BDBohnzie]

dude, this is pretty tame for a drunk tales thread...i'm waiting for the first "she looked good when i brought her home" story.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

this is embarassing, and Bohnzie you might even already know about it, but freshman year I got really hammered and hooked up with this ugly chick. She was so bad that in the morning I purposely rolled out of MY OWN bed and said "damn, I guess I'll just sleep on the floor" when she asked if I was ok.

The next semester she was in my English class and the professor gave us a project with assigned partners, and of course, who should I be lucky enough to get...

[BDBohnzie]

i believe you were told to leave her at the party...several times.

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by BDBohnzie

dude, this is pretty tame for a drunk tales thread...i'm waiting for the first "she looked good when i brought her home" story.

been there , done that :vomit:

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz

this is embarassing, and Bohnzie you might even already know about it, but freshman year I got really hammered and hooked up with this ugly chick. She was so bad that in the morning I purposely rolled out of MY OWN bed and said "damn, I guess I'll just sleep on the floor" when she asked if I was ok.

The next semester she was in my English class and the professor gave us a project with assigned partners, and of course, who should I be lucky enough to get...

dont feel bad Grillz, we have all had our moments of weakness

[Schneed10]

Got a good drunk tale for you guys.

It was college, so this should go in the college stories thread, but we're paying attention to this thread now so whatever. Let me tell you about a man named Barrett, my best friend in our fraternity. He was a very large individual (6'4", 230 pounds) and very uncoordinated. And when drinking, he had a problem with stealing things. We would get all wasted and walk around campus to parties and sometimes up to the bars, etcetera. I'd look over occasionally and Barrett would be missing from our posse, so I'd look around and find him tearing a street sign off the post. He has stolen street signs, stop signs (yes, ripped the entire thing out of the ground), a computer monitor from the science center, and he even disassembled a soccer goal on the intramural fields and lugged the pieces back to our apartment.

Anyway, our fraternity had a formal at the John Marshall hotel in Richmond. In the hallway there was a wooden table with a bronze-colored bust of John Marshall's head on it. So Barrett casually slips it under his blazer at the end of the night. We catch the bus home, get off, and start walking back to our apartment. Barrett sees that his shoe is untied, and hands the bronze head to his girlfriend to hold while he ties his shoe. Why he didn't hand it to me, I'll never know, because it was too heavy for his GF and she dropped it on the street, shattering to pieces.

The next day our fraternity's president gets a call from the hotel manager saying that we owed the hotel $800 to replace it. There were no more bars for Barrett that semester, it was beast light the rest of the year.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Originally Posted by BDBohnzie

i believe you were told to leave her at the party...several times.

I don't remember, but that sounds about right. I do know that the party was in the Zoo and I think I rode in the back of a truck at some point that evening.

[firstdown]

This has been years back but its pretty funny and I'm still alive. Where I use to live there was a bar about 2 blocks away I would walk to. I went about 3pm and ran into several good friends and ended up drinking to much. The clock was around 8:30 and I wanted to be home by 9:00 to catch some show I wanted to watch. I talked the owner into selling me an un cooked steak so I would have something to eat while watching the show. I got home and tried lighting the grill. I do it the unsafe way by turning each knob on while clicking the button. After cutting on all three burners it still would not light. So I went inside looking for a light and while inside turnd the tv on to my show. Several minutes latter I went out to light the grill. I bent down lit the match and was going to place it in that hole on the side and then cut on the gas. When the match was about five inches from the grill it went bomb and the entire grill jumped about a foot off the ground. The top which was on henges flew about 30 yards across my yard and I sat there stuned as to what just happend. I had left the gas on high and the top was shut which traped most of the gas. As I recoverd from shock and realised that I was unhurt I started looking around. The grill was cracked in several places and the top laid in half across the yard. I then noticed all my neighbors looking out their windows to see what was going on and I started laughing at myself. The funny part was that the grill was still lit and after a little work I was cooking my steak. I ate my meal I feel asleep missing the show which I had come home to see.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Originally Posted by BDBohnzie

i believe you were told to leave her at the party...several times.

Now that I think about it (and cry) I remember that I was trying to get with her friend who wasn't bad, and that ugly bitch just sort of snuck her way in there. That bitch.