Drunk Tales

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Originally Posted by gibbsisgod

a nasty girl who takes it in the can

If you saw this woman, you'd know how nasty what you just said is.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Every time I read this thread title, I'm like:

??

[ArtMonkDrillz]

I was drunk with some friends at a diner back in college. My buddy asked the waitress about something on the menu that had sausage in it (like pasta or something) and she goes "Well, I'm not a big fan of the sausage." Now, I'm terrible at holding in laughter sober and I have a very childish sense of humor, but because I was so smashed I completely lost it. It was one of those situations where I was practically shaking because I was trying so hard to hold it in.
The next day I get to class, and who do I happen to sit next to but the anti-sausage waitress herself!

[BDBohnzie]

AMD and I have been drunk together more than a few times. Now if I could only remember some of those stories...

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Originally Posted by BDBohnzie

AMD and I have been drunk together more than a few times. Now if I could only remember some of those stories...

I feel like the last time I was there someone walked out covered in mustard. I don't know if you were there that time, but I feel like you might have been. People were throwing creamer cups and they would explode on impact. Good times had by all, except for the busboys.

[TheMalcolmConnection]

So if she didn't like the sausage, did she like:

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

So if she didn't like the sausage, did she like:

tang is good eatin

[724Skinsfan]

I once went to a party in Blacksburg at a friends apartment. It wasn't too big or anything , maybe 25 people. Anyway, I'm drinking a ton of Michelob with two of my buddies, talking about good times and some dude and his buddy show up. This guy is trying to be some sort of super cool California surfer dude that's ready to scarf up some ladies. Well, when I get drunk and feel someone needs to be brought down a knotch or two I get nasty. After suffering through is idiotic "I'm cool" stories I excused myself and asked him if I could get him a beer. He's like "This guy must worship me" and says "yeah, just bring me whatever" in a dismissive way. I get my friend to get a bottle of syrup of Ipecac and we put just a few drops in this guys beer. I walk back to "Zack" (hope you're not reading this) and say here you go. man, "twisting" off the cap of the beer. He downs it and, of course, moments later excuses himself. I think he tried for like 10 minutes outside to not throw up by walking around and what not but he couldn't escape the inevitable. He spent like a half hour in the bathroom. Afterwards, a bunch of guys were giving him crap about puking and not being able to handle drinking beer. He and his buddy left quietly.

I'm a meannie!

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Al Bundy loves it.

[BDBohnzie]

Originally Posted by ArtMonkDrillz

I feel like the last time I was there someone walked out covered in mustard. I don't know if you were there that time, but I feel like you might have been. People were throwing creamer cups and they would explode on impact. Good times had by all, except for the busboys.

i don't remember anyone covered in must...oh wait, yeah I kinda remember now. we were in the back corner at the big table, throwing stuff across at each other...drinking Ghettoaid because no one wanted to pay for soda...

[hooskins]

not a great story, but the most i have every had to drink story....
at nyc, we were trying to go clubbing thursday night, and we have no freaking clue where to go or what to do. So we the idea was to pregame, we had alot of 99 apples..i had one deer park bottle for my self, w that stuff...so i drank that all straight...its was atleast 13-14 shots...and the club wasnt open..so we went to a karioke bar(sp) around the corner, best thing ever...but then i had three shots of 151(nasty)....so finally this club opens...its really shady bc they dont card at all, and we are the first ones in, the bartender is giving drinks to my friend who looks like he is 12, and the club is about the size of my living room....we soon found out it was a "house" music club that was really tiny...not really into it, and alot of guys were there, and wierd people too....like there was this one italian mobster looking guy, dancing alone on the middle of the floor, and one drunk black guy was dancing by himself in front of a mirror....so i figured this is a shitty situation, might as well drink more...had 4 red stripe beers, best stuff....by the time i was on the way home i thought our cabbie was a man( she was a women), and i was asking her if she was a man....i was drunk as shit walking around time square....finally went back home, went to eat pizza, and started puking...i basically lay camp by the toliet.....and apparently i made friends with it....i even dubbed it with a name..."toliet 35", dont ask me why i have no idea....apparently i also said..."toliet 35 is a great friend i keep on puking and giving it stuff, but it never gets mad at me and gives anything back..he is great..."...oh yeah and apparently i danced with a gypsie at the club...

[Gmanc711]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

Damn. Let me find that old thread and I'll put up a link to it. Some of us have some HILARIOUS stories. You might want to ask Gmanc about his legendary beer pong victory this year.

Ask and you shall recieve....


January: So me and this friend (who turned out to be one of my best friends now) had a relationship based soley around the game of beer pong. Our whole friendship started because he made a shot when we were on teh same team that made these two girls have to kiss, so we were "partners" and then we just stared hanging out from their and became best friends....

Fast forward to May, this kid is graduating, so we throw him a going away party cause he lives in NYC. So we get on the table and say...this is it dude, our last night playing together, we need to go out in style. We went 3-0, lost a game, and then got back on the table about an hour later. We go 7-0 like nothing, 10 cup. The house record was 8 games in a row without a loss. So we are facing....the two girls that had to kiss which started this whole friendship me and the kid had, they are talking all kinds of shit....and backing it up. They are up 7 cups to our 1. So were getting freaking rolled, within 1 of breaking the house record....so I line up...I aim....off her chest...into the party cup ....game over! A guy there goes " Do you belive in miracles...YES!"

I swear to god, I was nearly in tears after I did that. I went nuts. We ended up retiring the house as there was no one left to play after we hit 10 games...

It was awsome.

[ArtMonkDrillz]

Gmanc, that's fantastic. My greatest beer pong moment was much more simple than that.

We were playing on one of the best tables ever; it was a shitty old pool table with a top nailed onto it, so it was perfect size/height/lighting/filth/etc. Anyways, we play the rule that if the cup goes off the table it counts as a made cup (I only mention that because I know some people don't play that way). So we're pretty close to losing and shooting at a diamond formation. I send a line drive shot right into the back cup, with a little force behind it. The ball starts the fast spin and the cup starts to shake. Next thing I know the cup is going off the back of the table, BUT, the ball is spinning so fast that it's actually rising. Finally, at the last possible second before the cup is off the table the ball pops out and somehow ends up in one of the middle cups.
Everyone was so amazed at my (lucky) shot that they demand I get my ball back as if my partner also made his. We ended up winning the game, but unfortunately no girls started making out.

Shit, who's up for some beer pong right now?

[gibbsisgod]

this is not a good drunk tale for me but i still find it amusing so here ya go

When i was 18, i worked with a guy who was the lead singer in a band. the band sucked but i got to go with him to the bars in the tristate area and since i was with the band nobody ever carded me.

this band was playing a gig at this redneck bar in the middle of the woods in berkely springs west virginia. when i say middle of the woods i mean like deliverence.this place was only like 30 miles from where i lived but it ttok me like an hour to get there cause it was in such a unpopulated area.

after the bands first set, somebody working for the bar started a raffle. now being that this is redneck country they raffled off BACON. thats right , ten pounds of bacon. i was sitting at a table with some coworkers drinkin pretty heavy so i bought a ticket. as soon as they sold all of the tickets they drew a # and sure enough, i was the winner. i stood up and announced, " hey, thats my number". as soon as i did a woman came up to me and said, "I'll take care of that for ya honey!" so i kept drinkin.

at the end of the second set the band took another break and they started another raffle. and just what were they raffling off this time? you guessed it, 10 more pounds of bacon. they guy asked me if i wanted a ticket and i said, that i hadn't even gotten my first box of bacon. he looked at me like i was crazy and said, "You didn't win, that lady over there won" and he pointed to where that lady had been sitting but she was already gone.

that bitch played me like a fiddle. i assumed she worked for the bar when in fact she just stole my bacon. true story folks.

[hooskins]

i have been streaking a bunch of times drunk. and once sober....but then i also go to UVa...its kinda what we do lol