What would you do if this was your son?

[mlmpetert]

My mom called last night so I asked her why she let me go as a witch for halloween. I was actually in preschool and was 3, almost 4, at the time. She said that leading up to Halloween all the books that were read to me had lots of witches in them and the witches in kids books are usually the scariest or evilest character (shes a elementary school teacher and says this is still mostly true). She said when I first told her I wanted to be a witch she tried to explain to me that boys are not witches but I wasn’t able to understand, and just wanted to be what I thought was the scariest thing you could be. For about a week she tried to trick me into being other things including a warlock (the male equivalent of a witch), by reading books and showing me pictures of warlocks but I wasn’t having it.

Finally she gave in and got me a witches nose, hat and most embarrassingly witch nails and a petite black dress (with sleeves) from goodwill that she cut to make shorter. She said that the whole time she questioned herself by allowing me to be a witch, but decided that if that’s what I wanted to be she would at least make me a the best witch costume she could make. She also said she always felt bad for the kids who were forced to go as something that the kid didn’t want to be, but that the mom thought looked cute. She did however mention that I made a very cute witch, and will try and find some pics for me. She adamantly thinks halloween is for allowing kids to pretend to be whatever they want to be.

I guess I went to a big preschool because we had a Halloween parade where all the kids took turns going to each classroom to show off their costumes. This was also a hard part for her because she didn’t know what other people would think, or if the older kids would make fun of me. She said a couple teachers and parents did a double take when they first saw me but everyone acted normal after their first look and even commented on how good my costume was. She said a lot of the kids really liked my costume and none of them thought anything unusual of it including my brother who was about 2 years older…... until years later.

She even brought up, what I think was the original article in this thread, about a boy she saw on the news last year that dressed up as a girl for halloween. She thought that the cases were a little different because while a witch is a feminine character the reasoning why I or other kids may want to be a witch is because its scary. The boy who dressed up as the girl from Scooby doo wasn’t doing it to be scary, rather, he just liked that character. He was also older and seemed to understand the peculiarness of the decision to some extent. Either way my mom is about as liberal/progressive as it gets and now jokingly takes credit for starting this stuff. For reference this would have been in 1986. So that’s my experience as a cross dresser……..

I think there are 2 clear sides when it comes to allowing your kid to be transvestite/transgender and that theres not much room for either side to give way on their point of view. While I think parents should be supportive of most of their child’s endeavors I think parenting is more about providing guidance then encouraging your child to do whatever it is he wants. Im not a parent (which pretty much makes my opinion invalid on this issue) but while I would allow my hypothetical son be pretend or aspire to be a cowboy, army man, ninja, or even witch for a evening I wouldn’t let him be a cowboy, army man, ninja or girl year round. Im sure most little boys would be down for dressing up like a ninja year round just like most girls would be okay if her mom let her dress up as a princess all year. I don’t think allowing or encouraging your kid to do what they feel like is constructive. They arnt adults.

So it stays the same for me if your son wants to be a girl not just for pretend but in real life, in my mind hes not old enough to make that decision. Enabling him to think hes a girl by treating him like one prior to maturity is a severe form of child abuse in my opinion. What if your kid really wants to be a dog because you have pets in your home. Should you let him sleep in a crate, play with tennis balls, wear a collar and join Dog Scouts. No matter how much a little boy wants to be a dog or a girl they are not and shouldn’t be allowed to be. If they grow up and still feel that way then as an adult they can make the decision to get a sex change or change their name to Boomer The Dog. And if your kid decides when their a teenager that they just dont want to ever grow up then thats fine too. Society is now this permanent baby's parent. So just like the mom who allows her little boy to think hes a girl, we should allow and financial enable our permanent baby to do and be what ever he wants.......