AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

[sdskinsfan2001]

Originally Posted by mredskins

AITAH:

Wonderful youth sports.

Its hockey try out season (worst time of the year).

This past Monday and Tuesday was the u14 try outs. A top middle and bottom team was selected. The majority of the kids in our program have skated at this club for a number of years. I say this because the director and all the coaches know the majority of the kids very well, there are no parent coaches.

Rewind 2 weeks ago the director of the club calls me and ask if my son and another boy would like to come out for a private skate with some other boys looking to join our club to build a top team. At the 14u level we are very thin especially when it comes to top talent.

The new coach evaluates my son and the other boy over two private skates held in the weeks leading up to official try outs. They come back to me and say your son and the other boy are on the team but please keep this quiet as we are still evaluating others. I said sure fine, not a problem.

Of course during the whole process, parents are constantly asking do you know anything what is going on etc etc...rumor mill. I just stay quiet.

I say there were 4 other OG club members that had a potential to land on this team, the top coach saw them skate at 4 events pre skate 1 pre skate 2 try out 1 and try out 2, i recommend all 4 and said they had been loyal to the program and deserved a opportunity to play on the top team.

The new coach of the top team after try outs picked one of the 4.

Well one of the 4 that didn't make is a fairly close friend to me. He found out the team was being assembled prior to official try outs and that my son had already been chosen prior to try outs. Well all hell breaks out and he is so mad at me. I went back to him and said look they asked me not to say anything and even if i had told him it made no difference they had no interest in his son at that level. I endorsed his son numerous times through the process his son skated in front of the top coach 4 different sessions. His son has been in the program for 4 years, they know his kid very well he didn't make the cut.

So am I the asshole here? or is this guy just pissed off his kid is on a lower team and is scapegoating me for his angry.

I do agree with him it is shitty when they do backdoor try outs and stuff but i also realize in order for this club to have a top team it was going to need verbal commitments from outside top players in order to pull this off, those top kids could go anywhere and all clubs try out at the same time.

If i reverse the clock; me telling him does nothing to help his kid; if anything it probably pisses him off in that moment plus makes his kid feel bad he was not being chosen. I apologized to him and he just basically blew me off. Good grief Charlie Brown.

Definitely not the asshole here. The club put you in a tough place. You're right, you telling him about your kid being given a pre-tryout spot would have no impact on his kid making it. Clearly, the coach thinks your son is better than him, so its not like you bumped him out of a spot. It was never his spot to begin with. Hopefully he gets over it.