Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names

[Monkeydad]

CLITORIA JACKSON? - Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names

thepeoplesnews.wordpress.com – ( DETROIT ) In a decision that's expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.

"I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children," said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. "Someone had to put a stop to it."

The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.

"They are the worst perpetrators, " he said. "They put in apostrophes where none are needed. They think a 'Q' is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you're a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those."

Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.

"It's so hard to keep coming up with something unique," said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q'Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay'Sh'awn and Day'Shawndra.

Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.

"Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor," Cabrera said.

His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.

"She said it would make me stand out," said the girl, whose name can't be reproduced by The Peoples News' technology. "But it's really just stupid."

The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera's decision.

"Oh my God, the first day of school you'd be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering 'How do I pronounce Q'J'Q'Sha.'? " said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. "Is this even English?"

The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.

"I have a niece who's six. I'm embarrassed to say I can't even pronounce her name," said Vest, a professor at Princeton University . "Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over."

Cabrera's ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children's lives.

Sad that the focus is on Black women. Parents of from all countries, ethnic groups, color and socio-economic levels have named their children ridiculous names…

Indiana August Affleck - Casey Affleck & Summer Phoenix
Satchel Seamus Allen - Woody Allen & Mia Farrow
Moses Amadeus Allen - Woody Allen & Mia Farrow
Elijah Blue Allman - Cher & Gregg Allman
Lyric Angel - Ashley Parker Angel and Tiffany Lynn
Sosie Ruth Bacon - Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick

Zowie Bowie - David & Angela Bowie

Seven Sirius Benjamin - Andre Benjamin & Eryka Badu

Ocean Alexander Whitaker - Forest Whitaker & Raye Dowell
Elettra-Ingrid Wiedemann - Isabella Rossellini & Jonathan Wiedemann
Rumer Glenn Willis - Bruce Willis & Demi Moore
Scout LaRue Willis - Bruce Willis & Demi Moore
Tallulah Belle Willis - Bruce Willis & Demi Moore
Diva Muffin Zappa - Frank & Gail Zappa
Moon Unit Zappa - Frank & Gail Zappa

There are many, many more.

Source: eVIPlist - CLITORIA JACKSON? - Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names

[tryfuhl]

ahh, satire

either way I don't expect this thread to last much longer

[MTK]

Funny, though I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that would support such a move if it really happened.

[tryfuhl]

Surprises me that someone that gets as offended as Buster about everything would post this.. hrmmmmm!

[SolidSnake84]

Somebody tell me that this article is a joke.....

[MTK]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Somebody tell me that this article is a joke.....

read the actual article and you'll have your answer

[Trample the Elderly]

I've heard some good ones IE: Lasanga, Chlamydia, and Poosie.

I can't tell you how hard I laughed.

One of my fraternity bros was from Kenya. His name was Elliot.

[joethiesmanfan]

Originally Posted by Trample the Elderly

I've heard some good ones IE: Lasanga, Chlamydia, and Poosie.

I can't tell you how hard I laughed.

One of my fraternity bros was from Kenya. His name was Elliot.

Yawn

[Trample the Elderly]

Originally Posted by joethiesmanfan

Yawn

You mean squawk?

[724Skinsfan]

I smell onions.

[firstdown]

That was pretty funny and had me going for a minute.

[firstdown]

I remember when Frank Zappa named his kids those stupid names and how people questioned how you could name your kids something like that.
Diva Muffin Zappa - Frank & Gail Zappa
Moon Unit Zappa - Frank & Gail Zappa

[DynamiteRave]

My first name is pretty different. And yes, there is an apostrophe in it. And yes, I'm black. Fuck I'm screwed!

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

My first name is pretty different. And yes, there is an apostrophe in it. And yes, I'm black. Fuck I'm screwed!

The law has a grandfather clause so your just fine.

[tryfuhl]

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

My first name is pretty different. And yes, there is an apostrophe in it. And yes, I'm black. Fuck I'm screwed!

Dy'namiqua Raven