[CRedskinsRule]

Chuck Norris can detect both the Higgs boson and the tehnicolor particles.
There is only one particle accelerator more powerfull than LHC: Chuck Norris. Particles just keep running from him, nearly at the speed of light.
Chuck Norris can kill Schrodinger’s cat for good.
Chuck Norris can produce a chain reaction out of any stable isotope just by roundhouse kicking it in the face.
Chuck Norris can sucks vacuum.
The Higgs boson will be named “The Norris Particle”.
Chuck Norris can kick a charm quark and turn it up-side-down.
There is only one Higgs Boson, but after a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris, it became a whole family.
Only Chuck Norris can run faster than the proton beam inside LHC.
Chuck Norris is so sexy that he can attracts neutrons, without the help of gravity.
Chuck Norris can change the spin of the protons with a single round-house kick.
Chuck Norris sucks black-holes dry, without the help of Hawking radiation!
Chuck Norris can swallow a whole beam of acccelerated particles just for cleaning his teeth.
The LHC was built when Chuck Norris accidentally performed a roundhouse kick at a subway station in Zurich.
13.7 billion years ago, Chuck Norris said: “Let there be Big-Bang”
No subquarks particles are known to exists because Chuck Norris didn’t roundhouse kick a quark. Yet. When he decide to do this, LHC will became useless in studying the new physics created by those particles.
There is no quadrupoles for controlling the proton beam at LHC. Chuck Norris simply stares at the protons and the Higgs boson pops out.
Only Chuck Norris can use the LHC ring to propose. Andromeda said yes, but Chuck Norris kicked her in the face and she was projected 2 millions light-years away.
LHC doesn’t bring the Apocalipse. Only Chuck Norris can do that.
There are no stable particles. Each and every particle exists as long as Chuck Norris looks at it.

Chuck Norris uses micro-black-holes created at CERN to cook spaghetti for himself. Out of anything.
Initially, neutrinos had no mass. But they prefer an encounter with Higgs boson rather than facing Chuck Norris.
The photon was a stationary particle once. Until Chuck Norris roundhouse kick it. Just ask a photon about his speed nowadays.
There are no gravitational waves. It’s just Chuck Norris inhaling and exhaling after a roundhouse kick.
There are no gluons holding the quarks inside hadrons. They are just sitting there, trying to hide from Chuck Norris.
Ever wonder where does the energy needed for LHC came from? They got it all when Chuck Norris blinked once.
Chuck Norris can inject neutral particles inside the LHC ring and detects whatever he wants, otherwise he will roundhouse kick you in the face with a force so powerfull that you would produce Higgs bosons instantly.
Chuck Norris once engraved his name on a quark. With his fingernail. While the quark was part of the proton beam inside the LHC.
Chuck Norris decides both the position and the velocityof any particle he wants.
God plays dices. With Chuck Norris. And guess who’s winning?
Chuck Norris keeps his beers cooled down at LHC.
Stephen Hawking was a healthy young boy once. But he felt asleep while watching a Chuck Norris moive. Chuck Norris heard about this and paid him a visit.
Chuck Norris once applied for being an astronaut. He was trained to support G’s in the LHC tunnel.
Atomic clocks are synchronized after Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris drinks beer and urinates proton beams.
Once Chuck Norris lost his keys in a black hole. He just reach his hand and got them back.
Chuck Norris can do one-hand push-ups on a neutron star.
Before this decade is out, Chuck Norris can land on the moon and return safely to Earth. By himself.

Source: Hard Chuck Norris LHC facts | Starlog