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Originally Posted by BaltimoreSkins
So this weekend we discovered that our 14 year old has been cutting her arm. We have been open with her that we will go through her phone and discovered that something was going on. She then wrote a speech and there was a subtle mention of it in the speech. We talked to her last night and learned of the myriad of pain she is in. She carved the word ugly into her arm as well as just typical cuts you associate with cutting. I don't know how much she provided and how much she was still hiding in terms of emotions and physical pain.
There is so much guilt here. Both my wife and I work in education. We are trained to see signs and completely missed them with our own daughter. Working on getting her counseling but in the mean time we are going to get her to meet with school social worker.
Seeing you kid in pain is soul crushing.
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Im so sorry brother. Started this thread because of very similar circumstances. Thank God that you did discover it and do not feel guilty. My daughter was roughly the same age, my wife is a teacher. We both had no idea. She had an eating disorder and was cutting, super depressed- crazy anxiety- it started before the pandemic but for basically a year my daughter was right under our noses and we just didn’t see it. The absolute best thing is that you know and she knows that you do. As I look back the absolute most heart breaking thing was that she was crying out for help and probably felt so alone. It is such a battle to get the correct help/counselor/ meds if necessary, etc, but knowing really is half the battle. It has been a battle for us for roughly three years now but my daughter did learn how to cope (not without bumps in the road) and there is no more cutting or eating disorder thanks to counseling and just maturing and learning to cope with our help. I know yours will too. You seem like a super caring, and intelligent person and that is invaluable to your daughter. Keep us posted. Sorry again man. Just keep telling that little girl how wonderful she is. Between your support, and some counseling, and growing she will emerge better than before.
Edit: finding a counselor and mental health facility is a real bitch. Especially since the pandemic- just extremely backed up. I remember going online and searching for doctors and counselors and feeling so fucking helpless. I initially had to move outside my network and got a private counselor- was able to recoup 80% of the cost through insurance. Not that money was more important but im not a rich man and still obviously had bills to pay and food to put on the table. I would start with your insurance company (if you haven’t already) and find therapists in network. If you wind up on a waiting list google search therapist that specialize in self harm and depression for kids - my daughter would only talk to a woman. They did virtuals for months and the lady really pulled my daughter out of a dark place. Eventually she got into the local mental health program and that also did wonders.