Cream cheese is...
https://giphy.com/clips/erichamlet-p...Wd0LjIql7MaMFw
Mayo on a BLT - duh - just can't be dripping like Matty said. Also I'm not buying Duke's again, had them with my turkey sandwiches last week and it tasted seriously off. Sticking with Kraft from now on, Hellmann's not bad either.