[SunnySide]

35k in and none of the fertilized eggs are viable, despite being told everything looked great and good chance of success at every step .. right up until they said no chance.

We are going to pay for another 5k for meds and needles etc and do the process over again. Really weird sticking a needle 1 inch into someones belly 2-3x a night for a week or so. Unnerving.

If this second attempt doesnt work .. donor eggs? adoption? just shower my kid with love and a free college education since theres no siblings?

Writing this makes me come to the realization I havent been support enough of my lady. This is her hole and emptiness we are trying to fill. We sat down and talked after she got the news, I said all the right things, immediately said id pay the 5k more, let her know im right there with her .. but then life went right back to the normal busy everyone moving 100 mph with no time for reflection.