[SunnySide]

Since were talking food. lady bought a package of oreos only the genric kind. So they were sitting in the pantry closet for a few weeks. No bodies touched them, they are unopen.

This past Thursday (my 1 late night a week), its like 2 am and im stoned and like 6 beers deep. I figure theyve been there long enough so im allowed to tap into them. Just a taste. I open them and figure I can get away with eating 6 of them. But I just start crushing them. Ate 12 of them just standing there in my kitchen. Inhaling no chewing.

I start rehearsing my alibi and figure if she accuses me I can mumble together a string of words implying my daughter had something to do with it.

That Saturday .. low and behold .. she had been saving them to make a coworker an oreo cheesecake. Fuck me. She is in there in the kitchen with my daughter and Im sweating bullets on the couch just waiting for some loud voices to come out of the kitchen. I couldnt use the kid excuse because the kid was right there and shes a vocal cunt.

Then I heard my lady ask my daughter to count out 26 mother fucking cookies for her crust.

26 freaking cookies? for a crust?

Surely Im cooked now. Theres no way theres 26 cookies left, I mean I ate 12 of them and that seemed liked half the package.

Somehow, someway ... there was enough cookies plus 2 to spare!

My kids pretty dumb and lazy so Im sure once she hit like 11 counting them out, she said fuck it and just guessed from there.

saved her pop.