[Dirtbag59]

Lulz
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Skins' Albert Haynesworth Wins Yet Another Defensive MVP - ProFootballMock.com - ProFootballMock.com

Haynesworth, 32, has led the league in sacks three of the past four seasons, and thanks mostly to his efforts, the Redskins have finished in the top three of total defense every year since his arrival while winning back-to-back Super Bowl titles.

“He’s been worth every penny,” gushed Redskins owner Dan Snyder, referring to the massive seven-year, $100 million free agent contract signed by Haynesworth in 2009 after leaving the Tennessee Titans for D.C. “At the time, some people thought we were foolish for giving such a huge deal to Albert. Well, he’s certainly proven all his doubters wrong. Considering the enormously positive impact he’s had on our team, I’d say we got a bargain.”

“The guy’s got a motor that just never stops running,” added teammate Ryan Kerrigan. “He’s the hardest worker on our team, a notorious fitness freak, and a true perfectionist in every way. Believe me, the guys on our defense know not to ever, ever slow down or quit on any play, or else they’ll have to answer to Albert.”