Commanders Post at The Warpath - Happy Birthday Matty!! (The Birth of Matty...Part Deux)

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Happy Birthday Matty!! (The Birth of Matty...Part Deux)

Gather round children as I tell you, on this his birthday, the “true” story of the birth of Mattyk72.

Born a child slave on the planet Summoine, young Mattykin Skywalker was sold by his owner Fan of Ramsey to the unscrupulous junk dealer RedskinRat. Under Rat, young Mattykin became an expert in technical skills-creating forums, writing announcements, using vBulletin. To help his mother around the house he created the protocol robot-Crisp3PO.

Ultimately, Mattykin was freed of his enslavement on the planet Summoine and sent to Redskin Galaxy to train as a Hail Redskin. Hail Redskin Master Schneed-10 believed Mattykin to be the chosen one and took him under his wing. Tragically, Schneed-10 was killed by Darth Brud in a fierce battle soon thereafter. As Schneed-10 lay dying (dude, Schneed sorry I’m killing you here, nothing personal), he begged Obi-D Bohnzie to look after young Mattykin and train him.

In the coming years, Mattykin would move up the ranks of the Hail Redskin Knighthood and marry his childhood sweetheart, the now Queen That Guy. Because the Hail Redskin Tree House says “No Chickz Allowed” they had to keep their romance a secret.

During Mattykin’s formative years, the Redskin Galaxy was plagued by several wars as the empire switched from Cooke to Snyder-the Shuler/Frerrotte wars, the epic Westbrook/Davis battle, and the legendary Turner/Casserly struggle.

It was during the Turner/Casserly Wars that Mattykin began to feel darker thoughts. He started joining chat rooms, ruminating on the decision to sign Sander, Smith, Carrier. He knew that taking this path would give him more power, but it would also lead to the dark side. The only person he felt comfortable confiding such conflicting emotions to was his friend: Cap Master CrazyCanuck

Soon Mattykin found himself in the middle of a power struggle between the Hail Redskin Council and Canuck. Throughout the Casserly Wars, Cap Master Canuck was gaining increased powers. Those in the Hail Redskin Council, including Mace Daseal, grew increasingly suspicious of Canuck’s motives.

On behalf of the Hail Redskin Council, Obi-D Bohnzie asked Mattykin to spy on the Cap Master. Already upset that he was appointed to the Hail Redskin council without being named Moderator, Mattykin was enraged this own master would ask him to commit such treason. It was during these moments of angst that Canuck opened up to him. One night Canuck recounted the old Warpath legend of Darth Offiss the Freakin’ Genius. Canuck explained that Offiss, a Warpath Prophet, had unnatural abilities; power to see and understand things that no one else could even imagine.

Something happens. Something happens. Cap Master Canuck Kills Mace Daseal, after Mattykin renders him defenseless by slicing his arm. With the death of Mace Daseal, Mattykin officially commits himself to the dark side. He kneels before Cap Master Canuck-now revealed to be Darth Gmanc711-and proclaims himself to be a servant of the Warpath. Pleased, Gmanc711 grants Mattykin a Warpath name, Darth Mattyk72-self-centered, egotistical underlord and administrator of TheWarpath.net.

And that, my friends, is the story of the birth of Matty…Part Deux.

Happy Birthday Matty!!!

:happybday