BDBohnzie
12-23-2005, 10:12 AM
EDIT: Searched the forum, but didn't realize Mark from hailRedskins already posted it here: http://www.thewarpath.net/showthread.php?t=9837
Got this in an email...found it quite amusing!
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE GIANTS GAME
'Twas the night before G-men, and all through NY,
Not a creature was stirring, except young Eli.
"I can't help it coach," he said on the phone.
"That defense of theirs might break all my bones."
Little Manning was right to feel so afraid,
For throughout Redskins Park , new plans had been made.
Some ingenious blitzes from Gregg and his peers,
Would have that 12-year-old face crying 12-year-old tears.
"Go to sleep," said Coach Coughlin, his tone growing sour.
"You're late to your bed by at least half an hour.
If it were up to me, I would give you a fine,
But I ran out last month, so you get off this time."
The youngster hung up, brushed his teeth, combed his hair,
Ignored thoughts of shaving because nothing was there,
Checked under his bed for LaVar or Sean T. ,
Then climbed under his blanket in supposed safety.
But up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
Eli sprung from his rest to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a jet,
(Except one Mr. Coles , whose toe isn't healed yet).
The moon shone down on the bright, sleepless city,
Whose quarterback the country would very soon pity,
For up in the sky, who else should appear,
But Santana Claus, pulled by red-skinned reindeer.
"I've come with a present," said the quick little man,
As he walked to Eli with a bag in his hand.
"It's a sack, from our defense, just a little preview.
There's more where that came from, and they're all aimed at you."
Leaving behind the speechless QB,
Santana flew off at roughly Mach Three.
With the night quieter than it was before,
Eli returned to his bed, wondering what was in store.
Less than twelve hours later, and much further south,
The Redskins were waiting to punch Big Blue in the mouth.
As they took the field to explosions and screams,
They had but one mission – to end New York 's dreams.
"The Giants are talking about first-round byes,"
said Head Coach Joe Gibbs with fire in his eyes.
"They think we're a cupcake, a present in wrappin'.
Let's send them all home wondering what the hell happened."
And so, as a coin fall determined the kick,
Little Eli was already feeling quite sick.
His team had called heads, and heads had prevailed,
He'd soon face the defense that was making him pale.
A short return meant it was time for the D,
Eleven men bent on destroying Tiki,
And Shockey, and Toomer, and yes, Burress, too,
But the biggest target of all was the Manning in blue.
With hours of game tape sealed inside his head,
Gregg Williams was ready to make the G-men see red.
Red in the backfield, red on the ball,
Red on the helmets that would form a brick wall.
"On, Marcus ! On, Phillip!
On, Sean and LaVar!
On, Griffin ! On, Pierson!
On, Joe and Lemar!
These Giants are destined for quite a big fall,
Now blitz away! Blitz away! Blitz away all!"
From the very first snap, New York had no chance.
While Eli laid hurting, Big Joe did a dance.
It was just one of many Jacked Ups of the day,
With a solid three hours of pain on display.
For New York 's "Second Coming," the beatings were blurred.
The number of hits was simply absurd.
After the third straight sack from a Clemons brother,
Eli was left wanting only his mother.
As the final gun sounded and the Giants limped home,
Joe Gibbs was left searching the field like a comb.
He wanted a camera from a DC station,
So he could directly address all of Redskin Nation.
Having finally found his electronic desire,
The coach sent a message as warm as a fire.
"You've been patient since the days of RFK and Jack,
So Merry Christmas, 'Skins fans – we're finally back."
Got this in an email...found it quite amusing!
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THE GIANTS GAME
'Twas the night before G-men, and all through NY,
Not a creature was stirring, except young Eli.
"I can't help it coach," he said on the phone.
"That defense of theirs might break all my bones."
Little Manning was right to feel so afraid,
For throughout Redskins Park , new plans had been made.
Some ingenious blitzes from Gregg and his peers,
Would have that 12-year-old face crying 12-year-old tears.
"Go to sleep," said Coach Coughlin, his tone growing sour.
"You're late to your bed by at least half an hour.
If it were up to me, I would give you a fine,
But I ran out last month, so you get off this time."
The youngster hung up, brushed his teeth, combed his hair,
Ignored thoughts of shaving because nothing was there,
Checked under his bed for LaVar or Sean T. ,
Then climbed under his blanket in supposed safety.
But up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
Eli sprung from his rest to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a jet,
(Except one Mr. Coles , whose toe isn't healed yet).
The moon shone down on the bright, sleepless city,
Whose quarterback the country would very soon pity,
For up in the sky, who else should appear,
But Santana Claus, pulled by red-skinned reindeer.
"I've come with a present," said the quick little man,
As he walked to Eli with a bag in his hand.
"It's a sack, from our defense, just a little preview.
There's more where that came from, and they're all aimed at you."
Leaving behind the speechless QB,
Santana flew off at roughly Mach Three.
With the night quieter than it was before,
Eli returned to his bed, wondering what was in store.
Less than twelve hours later, and much further south,
The Redskins were waiting to punch Big Blue in the mouth.
As they took the field to explosions and screams,
They had but one mission – to end New York 's dreams.
"The Giants are talking about first-round byes,"
said Head Coach Joe Gibbs with fire in his eyes.
"They think we're a cupcake, a present in wrappin'.
Let's send them all home wondering what the hell happened."
And so, as a coin fall determined the kick,
Little Eli was already feeling quite sick.
His team had called heads, and heads had prevailed,
He'd soon face the defense that was making him pale.
A short return meant it was time for the D,
Eleven men bent on destroying Tiki,
And Shockey, and Toomer, and yes, Burress, too,
But the biggest target of all was the Manning in blue.
With hours of game tape sealed inside his head,
Gregg Williams was ready to make the G-men see red.
Red in the backfield, red on the ball,
Red on the helmets that would form a brick wall.
"On, Marcus ! On, Phillip!
On, Sean and LaVar!
On, Griffin ! On, Pierson!
On, Joe and Lemar!
These Giants are destined for quite a big fall,
Now blitz away! Blitz away! Blitz away all!"
From the very first snap, New York had no chance.
While Eli laid hurting, Big Joe did a dance.
It was just one of many Jacked Ups of the day,
With a solid three hours of pain on display.
For New York 's "Second Coming," the beatings were blurred.
The number of hits was simply absurd.
After the third straight sack from a Clemons brother,
Eli was left wanting only his mother.
As the final gun sounded and the Giants limped home,
Joe Gibbs was left searching the field like a comb.
He wanted a camera from a DC station,
So he could directly address all of Redskin Nation.
Having finally found his electronic desire,
The coach sent a message as warm as a fire.
"You've been patient since the days of RFK and Jack,
So Merry Christmas, 'Skins fans – we're finally back."