Food Vices

Leaving the house for food is so yesterday lol

Chipotle is the only fast food I have eaten in the last year or so. It is not bad but TBH I would rather order from a local place. Basically costs the same.

For food vices I have a major one. My grocery store is a local Mom and Pop called Graul's Market. They make this marshmallow filled chocolate covered donuts. Unbelievable.

Got to admit CFA breakfast in pretty good. Only other place I go to and yes folks I pick it up myself is 5 Guys Burgers ..........excellent stuff!

Since were talking food. lady bought a package of oreos only the genric kind. So they were sitting in the pantry closet for a few weeks. No bodies touched them, they are unopen.

This past Thursday (my 1 late night a week), its like 2 am and im stoned and like 6 beers deep. I figure theyve been there long enough so im allowed to tap into them. Just a taste. I open them and figure I can get away with eating 6 of them. But I just start crushing them. Ate 12 of them just standing there in my kitchen. Inhaling no chewing.

I start rehearsing my alibi and figure if she accuses me I can mumble together a string of words implying my daughter had something to do with it.

That Saturday .. low and behold .. she had been saving them to make a coworker an oreo cheesecake. Fuck me. She is in there in the kitchen with my daughter and Im sweating bullets on the couch just waiting for some loud voices to come out of the kitchen. I couldnt use the kid excuse because the kid was right there and shes a vocal cunt.

Then I heard my lady ask my daughter to count out 26 mother fucking cookies for her crust.

26 freaking cookies? for a crust?

Surely Im cooked now. Theres no way theres 26 cookies left, I mean I ate 12 of them and that seemed liked half the package.

Somehow, someway ... there was enough cookies plus 2 to spare!

My kids pretty dumb and lazy so Im sure once she hit like 11 counting them out, she said fuck it and just guessed from there.

saved her pop.

I had chick fila biscuit delivered Monday morning at 7am with a half sweat/unsweet iced tea just cause I fucking can

I would but I'm too cheap for delivery, the fees for Grubhub/Ubereats/etc. are fucking outrageous. Easier for me to just go pick the shit up myself.

mred, you sound like an elite food critic when you talk like this. It makes me feel like anything less than a Michelin starred restaurant isn't worthy of your business.

I do have a bachelors degree from Johnson and Wales; swear on my kids.

I guess you are right.

Since were talking food. lady bought a package of oreos only the genric kind. So they were sitting in the pantry closet for a few weeks. No bodies touched them, they are unopen.

This past Thursday (my 1 late night a week), its like 2 am and im stoned and like 6 beers deep. I figure theyve been there long enough so im allowed to tap into them. Just a taste. I open them and figure I can get away with eating 6 of them. But I just start crushing them. Ate 12 of them just standing there in my kitchen. Inhaling no chewing.

I start rehearsing my alibi and figure if she accuses me I can mumble together a string of words implying my daughter had something to do with it.

That Saturday .. low and behold .. she had been saving them to make a coworker an oreo cheesecake. Fuck me. She is in there in the kitchen with my daughter and Im sweating bullets on the couch just waiting for some loud voices to come out of the kitchen. I couldnt use the kid excuse because the kid was right there and shes a vocal cunt.

Then I heard my lady ask my daughter to count out 26 mother fucking cookies for her crust.

26 freaking cookies? for a crust?

Surely Im cooked now. Theres no way theres 26 cookies left, I mean I ate 12 of them and that seemed liked half the package.

Somehow, someway ... there was enough cookies plus 2 to spare!

My kids pretty dumb and lazy so Im sure once she hit like 11 counting them out, she said fuck it and just guessed from there.

saved her pop.

This made me laugh.

Also, yeah, if we can all agree on one thing. It's double stuff or go home.

This made me laugh.

Also, yeah, if we can all agree on one thing. It's double stuff or go home.

Wegmans brand of Oero's are pretty good; especially their mint version.

Cooked up some turkey bacon today. Crisped up pretty good. I was pleasantly surprised.