understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Let me ask you this, SS84...have YOU changed anything since you've gotten married? Unknowingly and unintentionally, have you gotten too comfortable in the marriage and started slacking on how you treated her? Did you buy flowers before and now, not as much? Did you used to kiss her when leaving for work everyday and before sleep but now miss it sometimes?

Just throwing it out there, not blaming you.

I know it's tough, but try not to focus on it every day and let it ruin the whole day if another gets added to the tally. Maybe she feels pressured or that you just want her for sex...which is VERY easy for a woman to feel even if it's NOT true.

Try making her a nice meal, or get a movie and rub her feet with some lotion (that can flip a switch). Don't bring it up or put any pressure on her. Try just treating her extra special for a few days or week without mentioning it or making any moves. She may come back around if you don't make it an issue every day, which is tough to avoid for a guy.

She doesnt wake up with me in the morning, but i kiss her on the forehead every morning before work and tell her i love her. Maybe i have done something unknowingly...i will refocus over the next few days and let everybody know what happens...thanks

Then I might try to totally be yourself, just give her the space she's asking for and after a while she might open up and tell you what the serious problem is.


^Cliff notes for my long post. :goodjob:

LOOL...he's keeping it real...it's an issue we have discussed before. He's not advocating cheating, he's advocating leaving and thus getting it from somewhere else.


I'm advocating getting the situation out in the open by any means necessary. Let the situation blow up and see where the pieces fall. I don't think 32 days is that long of a dry spell when you have been with someone a long time. I wouldn't be worried quite yet.

We are coming up on football season so your time should be all booked up for the next 5 months or so anyway. To a lot of guys this would be a blessing. At least this way you are going to be assured of catching all the football you want. Now if she's still not giving it up in February then figure out what to do. In the meantime enjoy the Redskins season!

Yes. I've tried it all. I've tried to be loving, and she blows me off and she says i'm being over affectionate. It annoys her.

I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.

I'll tell you what, I think thats more concerning to me than the sex part... because women are ussually ALL ABOUT this. If there is one thing my girl and I ever argue about, its how affectionate I am... the fact that that bothers her, makes me almost 99.9% positive that its something more that is bothering her.

She doesnt wake up with me in the morning, but i kiss her on the forehead every morning before work and tell her i love her. Maybe i have done something unknowingly...i will refocus over the next few days and let everybody know what happens...thanks

Sometimes it feels like they're making you work for it.

It is threads like this that make me miss jsarno.

I'm advocating getting the situation out in the open by any means necessary. Let the situation blow up and see where the pieces fall. I don't think 32 days is that long of a dry spell when you have been with someone a long time. I wouldn't be worried quite yet.

We are coming up on football season so your time should be all booked up for the next 5 months or so anyway. To a lot of guys this would be a blessing. At least this way you are going to be assured of catching all the football you want. Now if she's still not giving it up in February then figure out what to do. In the meantime enjoy the Redskins season!

http://www.thewarpath.net/images/avatars/Newb_Jersey_Avatar.jpg

It is threads like this that make me miss jsarno.LOL the thread that will live in infamy. I don't think any of the personal threads will ever top that one.

I'm advocating getting the situation out in the open by any means necessary. Let the situation blow up and see where the pieces fall. I don't think 32 days is that long of a dry spell when you have been with someone a long time. I wouldn't be worried quite yet.

We are coming up on football season so your time should be all booked up for the next 5 months or so anyway. To a lot of guys this would be a blessing. At least this way you are going to be assured of catching all the football you want. Now if she's still not giving it up in February then figure out what to do. In the meantime enjoy the Redskins season!

Ok I get you now. Thanks for your lightheartedness. It's a nice refreshment the way this thread has been going.

Seriously thanks everyone for responding. I feel a little nervous still, but am starting to feel better about where i stand...

I can't tell if TheLastDon was joking or not...i hope he wasn't trolling in a serious convo like this...i dont think he was, but you never know.

Weather he was or not... I think thats a pretty good word track if she wont talk to you about it at all... NOT AT THIS STAGE...but if this goes anotehr couple months and she wont open up abotu it at all... I would say that... I wouldnt follow through with it, but it would at least get something going.