understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Wait until she gets prego talk about dry spells.

IMO 32 days is really not that big of a deal but I have a kid, job, etc... so sometimes life and it responsibilities just basically sweep you up.

I would try a date night and say we need time to refocus have fun and forgot life like when we first start dating. Have her say what she wants to do for that night and at the end of the night you should be scoring.

But the no sex could be symptom of a bigger problem but a 32 days I don't see it.



So true. :rofl:




Keep in mind, pregnancy (like a possible medical issue or birth control interference) are all temporary, hormonal problems...that will pass.

Tell her that if you don't get it from her you'll get it somewhere else. That should spark something in the situation one way or another.saden, I blame you :laughing-

I've been married for a year and a half, together for 5 and a half. While we've had a few dry spells, they've been nowhere near what you've described. I think you're (minus TheLastDon) getting some good advice here. Hope everything works out for you.

32 days is a long time. Time to have a serious talk.

saden, I blame you :laughing-

LOOL...he's keeping it real...it's an issue we have discussed before. He's not advocating cheating, he's advocating leaving and thus getting it from somewhere else.

Impressive set of posts on the issue, fellas. Very insightful and thought out.

Same thing happened to a close friend of mine shortly after he was married. Wife refused to have sex, told him she was repulsed by him, would sleep on the opposite edge of the matress and not let him touch her. Went on for a month or two and he was seriously considering divorce. They went to a marriage counselor (which I'd also recommend here if talking it out doesn't work) who said he wanted to first speak with them separately. While my friend was waiting in the hall he heard laughter in the room and got really angry, thinking they were talking about him. When they came out the therapist said that she was most likely having a hormonal reaction to being pregnant and to go immediately to the store and buy a pregnancy test. Turns out one of his fellas had slipped past the goalie and their son was born 9.5 months after they were married.

My wife also had a bad reaction to some birth control which really affected her emotionally, so I'd also suggest looking into that option.

Good luck either way. I hope it all works out soon.

I can't tell if TheLastDon was joking or not...i hope he wasn't trolling in a serious convo like this...i dont think he was, but you never know.

32 days is a long time. Time to have a serious talk.


Without kids I think I may have to agree, I can try imagine my life before kid(s) we had so much free time you were basically banging just to kill time.

Let me ask you this, SS84...have YOU changed anything since you've gotten married? Unknowingly and unintentionally, have you gotten too comfortable in the marriage and started slacking on how you treated her? Did you buy flowers before and now, not as much? Did you used to kiss her when leaving for work everyday and before sleep but now miss it sometimes?

Just throwing it out there, not blaming you.

I know it's tough, but try not to focus on it every day and let it ruin the whole day if another gets added to the tally. Maybe she feels pressured or that you just want her for sex...which is VERY easy for a woman to feel even if it's NOT true.

Try making her a nice meal, or get a movie and rub her feet with some lotion (that can flip a switch). Don't bring it up or put any pressure on her. Try just treating her extra special for a few days or week without mentioning it or making any moves. She may come back around if you don't make it an issue every day, which is tough to avoid for a guy. Just do your best to make her feel loved and appreciated, but not pressured for a while.

Wives can be confusing. Scratch that, they ARE confusing.

This will likely pass and some day, you'll have a kid together and she'll INSIST you go to Training Camp and won't take no for an answer. :D

Yes. I've tried it all. I've tried to be loving, and she blows me off and she says i'm being over affectionate. It annoys her.

I love all the feedback guys, but reading the honest advice i get the feeling that i am truly and unequivocally screwed.

Then I might try to totally be yourself, just give her the space she's asking for and after a while she might open up and tell you what the serious problem is. I would also tell her that she's not exactly making you feel like a spouse, more like a roommate if she's saying you're being OVERLY affectionate.