death sucks

i have been very fortunate in my life, i haven't had to deal with family deaths, i have both parents and all four grandparents around which i feel very fortunate to have since i will be getting married next year.



i have only had to go to a handful of funerals two friends, other friends family and great grand parents, which i don't really remember. the friends were hard it sucks losing some one so young, both were right around 20 when they died, i still visit them a few times a year. both of them had closed casket funerals and wakes, as well as the rest i have been too.



this evening i went to the wake for a couple friends of mine's mother, she was only 55, and they are all around my age mid 20's. it was the first open casket i have ever seen. i have seen dead people before but no one i knew, it really f-ed me up tonight, i haven't really kept in touch with them like we used to when we were younger, but we are still friends. i see them every so often as well as i used to see their mom. but seeing one i knew lying there really got to me, my stomach has been in a knot for a while, it was just weird.



i'm going to the funeral tomorrow hopefully it will be a little better, who knows. just needed to vent a little, and by the way death sucks.

it sucks, but it is part of our life...... just be supportive

Its kinda crazy, we're one of the countries where many people tend to go to great lengths to not talk about death or to shield themselves or others from it. I took a few courses from the Thanatology branch of Psychology. (They're linked up at my school) We actually took a field trip to a funeral home, got to see the actual process of cremating someone. When we went a man gave us permission to view the machine they use while his wife was currently being cremated. I mean it was obviously a bit creepy, but somewhat sobering.

And you know, I'm no Dr. or anything, but what you're doing is good. Even though we're all strangers, its good to let your grief and confusion out. Worse thing you can do is bottle it up. Pretty much anyone can tell you that.

Surround yourself and your friend with support and love and everything will hopefully heal in time.

God bless. :)

What DRave is correct. Good to talk about it and probably easier with strangers like us. Time heals.....most as it will this. My dad died a few years ago......young. I think about him every day and talk to him almost as often. I still feel emotional about it and can get misty eyed pretty easy thinking about it. BUT, that is the way I always want it to be.....not to far away to be......distant. It's....ok
Take care.........

mImdub,

You have my deepest condolences. I will say I am 42, and have NEVER experienced a close relative or friend's death. I have been to one funeral. I hope you can find peace

Unfortunately I've been around death quite a bit. I'm only 31, and I've seen 3 out of 4 grandparents pass away. All three were open caskets, all three obviously upset me a lot.

During my senior year of high school, one of my close friends lost his older brother in a freak car accident. That funeral was so effing sad. The guys middle name was "Dearborn," and just seeing his parents' faces... man I get choked up even thinking about it.

Less than a year later, the start of my freshman year of college, was just the worst. I went to college with that same guy who lost his brother. Well, less than a month into our first semester, his long time girlfriend (who was just about the smartest, most beautiful girl you could ever imagine), was killed along with three other girls by a drunk driver down in Winston-Salem (she went to Wake Forest). This poor guy lost his brother and the love of his life in an 8 month span. I was in his dorm room when he got the phone call about his girlfriend. One of the worst days of my life.

Then, about two months later, my grandma was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 colon cancer. She was dead 6 weeks later. I was very, very close to her. A couple of months after that, a kid I grew up with my whole life decided to hang himself.

I can honestly say that was hands down the worst year+ of my life. But I sure as hell learned a lot about gratitude.

You have my condolences.

Haven't lost my parents but I've lost my share of friends and family. I think the three that hit me most were and still affect me were my grandmother, my best friend's sister (who was like a big sister to me-she died of cancer when she wasn't even 30 years old, to see her waste away was really sad), and my college roommate.

My other grandparents all died when I was very young so I never really knew them but what might have been arguably worse was my grandmother not knowing who I was. I was 20 when she passed away and for the last 11 years of her life she had Alzheimer's and had no idea who I was. That was pretty painful.

And then when my college roommate was shot and killed a couple of years ago that really hurt. I was planning to see him very soon and had vowed that we needed to do a better job of keeping in touch. I still think about him a lot. Death does suck

Yes, yes, it's the very worst thing you'll ever go through.

I can't imagine life without my parents, this scares me the most. they are in their early 60's and in good health.

My folks live a mile from me and we see them a lot and they help with caring for my son.

Now if my mom ask me to go to dinner with her I always try to make it regardless if I am tired or not becasue I know some day she won't be there for dinner.

Last weekend I had to replace some brick molding around my house and my dad offered to help. Really I could have knocked it out much faster without his help but we had a ball doing it and some quality time together.

Isn't funny how guys communicate better when they are working on something together vs. sitting at a table trying to talk.

F death