Random Thoughts

Just post some random thoughts, here's a few of mine
More thoughts



I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist and reality sucks

For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, does that mean eventually I'm gonna sprout wings and be able to crap on some birds car?

If my girlfriend doesn't hear me say something stupid does that give her the right to still be mad at me?

I bought a cake that said happy 10th birthday, not because it was my birthday but because I knew there'd a be ten year old without a cake now, HA HA HA, bow to my evilness.

I'd like to take a moment to thank my dogs for allowing me to live in there house.

I often think that maybe I should write my memoirs, it might make an interesting read but I'm having a hard time choosing a title, Sincere Asshole or Caring Prick, which do u prefer??

Drugs are bad, for your wallet.

I'd work for the government but I prefer contributing to society

I wanna have my tonsils taken out, not because they need to be but because I'm bored.

I used to drink alot cuz I thought I hated life, actually I just hated my ex.

I've been thinking of opening a video game store/titty bar, dorks who can't get laid and lap dances, I'm gonna be rich.


I love waking up, solely for the purpose of going back to sleep

Cigarettes are unhealthy but so damn tasty

Sobriety is like puberty, well minus the pubic hair, wet dreams and voice changing, actually sobriety is nothing like puberty.

I love it when you tell someone "I was born in Maryland" and there response "So you're from there?" umm, actually no I'm not, even though I was born in a house in Maryland I'm from Montana.

Marriage is like prostitution, just less sex and more expensive

They say that when two people get married it's a glorious occasion, and it is, for the divorce attorneys waiting for business.

If I were a squirrel I think I'd just raid bird feeders like the bastard squirrel that raids mine, lazy prick.

I have a woodpecker that eats out the birdfeeder, now correct me if I'm wrong but aren't woodpeckers supposed to "peck" for there food?? Oh I forgot this is a special breed, the government assistance welfare woodpecker.

If I crap myself and no ones around to see it, am I still embarassed?

My parents are good natured loving people, this is how I know I'm adopted, cuz I'm a dick.

If everytime I farted a kitten died, there'd be no cats.

There's only one time I could ever root for the Cowboys, and thats if they were playing against Satan himself, and even then it'd be a struggle. FUCK DALLAS!

I read that certain turtles when they mate, the male sprays his semen on a rock and the female rubs in it. If I were a male turtle,I'd find a pointy rock so that bitch knows whose boss.

Going to a casino is much like going to a titty bar, you go there with great expectations of fulfillment but leave unsatisfied and broke.

Why does everything that tastes so good cause massive gas?

I had a lady yesterday tell me I should quit smoking or I might die young, I told her yeah but no matter what you do you'll die ugly.

When I first started potty training my puppy I figured it'd be a good idea to show him how it works and squat a loaf in my yard, my neighbors didn't find that idea so good.

If Zombies eat brains why are they so stupid?

Sometimes fashion trends comeback, I sure to hell hope the 80's bush never returns, ugh.

There's like 15 million porno sites, theres 300 million people in the states, that means that 1 out of every 20 people you meet has starred in porn, I need to wash my hands more often.





These are from a blog of mine, so thats why there's so many, add your own

http://www.thewarpath.net/parking-lot/25095-random-thoughts.html?highlight=random

Who'd have thought we'd have two of these in the parking lot?

http://www.thewarpath.net/parking-lot/25095-random-thoughts.html?highlight=random

Who'd have thought we'd have two of these in the parking lot?

of course that thread you posted involves telling a substantive story, where as even though the titles might be similar, low and behold the idea behind them is not

There's not much of a point to this thread is there? And I guess that's sort of the point right? If I were to guess this is some subtle viral marketing for this blog of yours you speak of

Actually not at all, I just don't want someone thinking I ripped this off someone else's site or postings. My blog is a joke I do for all of about 4 friends of mine, notice there is no posted link and never will be. I was actually looking to encourage some very goofy thoughts from people. Laughter is good for the soul.

I have a couple random thoughts.

So you know what I hate? People who steal decals off cars. I work in retail and Saturday night my 8x8 Redskins magnet decal was stolen off the side of my car while I was inside working. :/ I figure it had to be another Redskins fan that stole it, I mean I'm just disappointed because I kinda hoped people wouldn't be that petty.

And I also hate assholes at work. I got yelled at by a lady because there was a sidecap in the food section of my job, and the pricetag on the strip said the boxes of Cheerios were 2.99. But this lady didn't trust the price so she took it to a price scanner a couple isles down, then noticed it was actually priced at 3.09. So then she took it upon herself to yell at me for having the wrong pricetag up even though the f'n difference was 10 cents. I mean ffs, just because I work in retail isn't an excuse to try and walk all over me. I wanted to tell that lady off so bad, but luckily for her I value my job more than telling some a-hole off.

It's bad days like that that make me realize how I don't want to work in retail for a long time. I have 30 year old friends that come to work and every single day they are burnt out, and it just amazes me because even though I like and respect them I don't want to be working in retail 10 years from now. Just goes to show just how important going to college really is.

yawn.....

If I ignore the poster will he shut up faster, or will he shut up faster if I tell him to... "SHUT UP!"?

hey angry, time to change the bottom line:)

I have a couple random thoughts.

So you know what I hate? People who steal decals off cars. I work in retail and Saturday night my 8x8 Redskins magnet decal was stolen off the side of my car while I was inside working. :/ I figure it had to be another Redskins fan that stole it, I mean I'm just disappointed because I kinda hoped people wouldn't be that petty.

And I also hate assholes at work. I got yelled at by a lady because there was a sidecap in the food section of my job, and the pricetag on the strip said the boxes of Cheerios were 2.99. But this lady didn't trust the price so she took it to a price scanner a couple isles down, then noticed it was actually priced at 3.09. So then she took it upon herself to yell at me for having the wrong pricetag up even though the f'n difference was 10 cents. I mean ffs, just because I work in retail isn't an excuse to try and walk all over me. I wanted to tell that lady off so bad, but luckily for her I value my job more than telling some a-hole off.

It's bad days like that that make me realize how I don't want to work in retail for a long time. I have 30 year old friends that come to work and every single day they are burnt out, and it just amazes me because even though I like and respect them I don't want to be working in retail 10 years from now. Just goes to show just how important going to college really is.

Working in retail is real bitch thanks to the insane customers. I honestly don't know how people make careers in retail. I would kill myself.