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Frost 11-13-2007, 11:07 PM So with all the bitterness around here caused by the last couple of games I wanted to start a thread and hear everyones favorite joke, maybe it will cause laughter and cheer some people up.
This joke some people found it a little offensive but its my all time favorite, here it goes
There is a Monk, a Rabbi and a Catholic Priest and they are relaxing at a park, all of a sudden the park catches on fire, the Monk yells SAVE THE CHILDREN, the Rabbi yells F**K THE CHILDREN and the Catholic Priest says WE DON'T HAVE TIME. :)
Hope you guys liked it and post your own favorite joke
Redskins247 11-13-2007, 11:28 PM Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped
some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them
up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her
dress!
Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on
the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife
followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, indeed he
did.
She said, " Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of
this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that
since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John
should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m.
sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom
and closed their transaction as agreed. John quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m., and upon entering the
house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this
afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat, Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a
few minutes this afternoon."
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did
he give you $500?"
In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out and after
mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me
$500."
Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
"Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this
afternoon on his way home and pay me back."
Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player
GhettoDogAllStars 11-13-2007, 11:34 PM Two hookers are walking down the street.
One says to the other, "Oooh honey! Tonight's gonna be a good night! I can just smell the dick in the air!"
The other one says, "Nah bitch! I just burped!"
lostinthought135 11-19-2007, 04:21 PM White Question and Answers
What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!
What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap?
9 months
What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.
How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.
What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!
What did the black guy do with his M&Ms?
Eat them
What did the white guy try and do with his?
Put them in alphabetical order
What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!
What do you call a white serial killer in the courtroom?
-Not guilty
What did the policeman say to the white reckless driver who ran over and killed 10 innocent people?
-Slow it down
saden1 11-19-2007, 05:12 PM lostinthought135,
Those aren't jokes...I thought jokes were suppose to be funny?
SmootSmack 11-19-2007, 05:41 PM lostinthought135,
Those aren't jokes...I thought jokes were suppose to be funny?
Those weren't funny at all.
Sammy Baugh Fan 11-19-2007, 06:19 PM White Question and Answers
What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!
What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap?
9 months
What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.
How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.
What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!
What did the black guy do with his M&Ms?
Eat them
What did the white guy try and do with his?
Put them in alphabetical order
What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!
What do you call a white serial killer in the courtroom?
-Not guilty
What did the policeman say to the white reckless driver who ran over and killed 10 innocent people?
-Slow it down
^RACIST Alert
~just shakes head
mredskins 11-19-2007, 08:19 PM Funny how the joke thread even turned hostile. NOW THAT IS FUNNY!!!!
mooby 11-19-2007, 08:56 PM Hey i'm white and I thought those jokes were hilarious.
Either way, this one is my favorite.
One day a hippie gets on a bus and sits next to a nun. He ask''s her if he could have sex with her. The nun looks at the man and tells him no and gets off at the next bus stop.
Later when its the hippies turn to get off the bus the bus driver tells him I know how you could have sex with that nun. Dress like Jesus and tell her that you want to have sex with her, just go to the grave yard at 6:00pm she''ll be there.
Later that day the hippie does what the bus driver told him. He goes to the graveyard at 6:00pm and just like the bus driver said he saw the nun at a tombstone praying. He walked up to her and told her I am Jesus let me have sex with you. The nun in disbelief looked at Jesus (hippie) and said okay but could it be anal because I want to keep my virginity.
The hippie agrees with this so then he bangs her in the ass. After they had sex the hippie threw his Jesus suit off and said HA! I am the hippie and then the nun took her clothes off and said HA! I am the Bus driver.
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