Dogtag presents "The Official Moderator Roast Thread"

So who did Gman blow to get a job as a mod?

Who did he BLOW or who did he get blow BY for seventy dollars?

***Warning*** This roast is not for the faint of heart. Please read only at your own risk! (And my first attempt at one of these. This is in the nature of the roast and not at all meant to offend.)

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A group of guys walk into a talent agency. It's Mattyk72, TAFKAS, Gmanc711, joecrisp and BrudLee. Mattyk72 says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry... I don't represent Redskins' acts. Daniel Snyder owns all the rights and I fear a lawsuit."

TAFKAS replies, "Sir, once you see our act, you'll want to hire us right away and won't fear ANY lawsuits Mr. Snyder might bring."

The agent replies, "Alright, then. I'll take a look at it."

BrudLee thanks the agent for his decision. All five men strip and BrudLee lays down on his back on the floor. Gmanc711 starts it off by to taking a large dump on BrudLee's face while joecrisp comes over and starts to fuck BrudLee in the ass. Mattyk72 takes his ego-sized penis and starts to slap Gmanc711 in head with it while TAFKAS lays down curled into a ball and starts sucking his own dick.

When Gmanc711 finishes his 5 minute dump, he starts licking Mattyk72's balls while BrudLee gets up (with joecrisp still in him) and starts to fist Gmanc711 in the ass.

TAFKAS continues to suck his own dick.

joecrisp finally finishes with BrudLee and opens up a duffel bag full of footballs. He takes one football and gets down on all fours in a center's position. BrudLee comes up behind joecrisp and fucks him in the ass and then yells, "Hike!". joecrisp hikes the football between BrudLee's legs and up his ass.

Mattyk72 grabs another footballs and hands the ball off to Gmanc711 who runs over to TAFKAS and shoves the football up his ass.

TAFKAS continues to suck his own dick.

Mattyk72 puts on a Brunell jersey, grabs yet another football, drops back, aims for Gmanc711 and throws the ball... directly into joecrisp's ass.

The agent begins to stand up to protest. "Hey! I think he was an inelligible receiver!" Mattyk72 picks up another ball to throw at the agent, but decides to throw it away when joecrisp grabs a football out of the bag and shoves it up his ass.

Tired of sucking his own dick, TAFKAS gets up, grabs a football, and shoves a second one up his own ass. He then grabs one more football, places it on a kicking tee, and bends over directly in front of it yelling, "Go for three! Go for three!"

BrudLee complies by kicking the ball directly into TAFKAS' ass. TAFKAS then starts shitting the balls out in perfect spirals to Gmanc711, Mattyk72, and joecrisp, who each make wonderful diving catches.

TAFKAS begins to suck his own dick again, but passes out from exhaustion. The remaining four finish the act by dancing in Funky Four fashion to "Play That Funky Music".

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And Mattyk72 says, "The Warpath.net Aristocrats!"

I'm like Chris Elliott in Scary Movie 3! (or was it 2?)

:eek:

Geez! The things he could do with one of AMD's Mad Libs! If someone were repeating that over an FCC broadcast it would have to be edited so much that it would sound like a "test of the emergency broadcast system."

Whatever happened to the time honored tradition of wrapping up a roast with a few kind of words? Sigh...And remember Sheriff Gonna Getcha is a moderator (he's a lawyer too!) and so is Crazy Canuck (he's freakin' Canadian)

You know... I couldn't remember all of the mods and there is no good place that I was able to easily find for a list. So I just used a few threads I've read recently with a quick scan through. So apologies to the mods I left out. Though lawyers and Canadians have plenty of jokes of their own! (Lawyers have "penile codes" and Canadians have "mounties".) Hahaha... those funny Canadians!

As for kind words... I wouldn't be here lurking as much as I do if I didn't like and respect everyone here. I even have a link to this site on my own personal webpage!

Big Red i think the arictocrat post was the funniest I ever read here, I'm just pissed I wasn't involved. Perhaps I could have used my cock as a football ramrod or something.

Perhaps I could have used my cock as a football ramrod or something.

Well, perhaps as the needle used to inflate the football.