Humor predictions for the off season.

1 = The colts will resign E.James and R.Wayne. Only to release P.Manning. They sign a QB to take his place, Tee Martin. Who will lead them to the Super Bowl.

2= T.O. signs with the Falcons. Only to learn the day after that Vick will take a year off to travel the world. The Falcons sign J.Garica. T.O. doesn't even show to camp.

3 = Jeff Geroge will try out for 5 teams, And no one will care.

4 = Rex Grossman breaks his leg in off sason workouts, Out for the year again.

5 = The Redskis will trade players and picks to the Bronco's and jets. Happens every season.

6 = D.Culpepper will be traded to the Raiders. R.Moss will be a holdout.

7 = Taylor Jacobs will be released, Go to the Rams and have a 1,000 season.

8 = Ramsey will be traded to the cards. People will be confused about the trade because they forgot the cards were still in the NFL.

9- The Redskins set an NFL record by having the most head coaches on one team ever.

10- The Bills hire Spurrier after a recruiting violation gets him fired from South Carolina. Buffalos offseason then becomes highlighted with the acquisitions of Shane Mathews, Danny Wurfel, Jaquez Green, Rod Gardner, and Darrius Thompson. Spurrier wanted to acquire Taylor Jacobs but he was to busy getting ready for his 1000 yard season in St.Louis.

11- The Dolphins sign Peyton Manning to be their starting QB and Ryan Leaf to back him up. During the first game Manning goes down with an injury. As a result Ryan Leaf comes in and shatters all of Mannings single season records

12- Ramsey learns that the Cardinals O-Line is not that good and is constatnly cited throughout the season for calling Dennis Green, Coach Spurrier.

13- Kyle Boller becomes the AFC's backup QB in the pro-bowl behind Ryan Leaf

14- Despite a breakout year by Leaf, Chris Chambers only gets 999 yards recieving leaving him with only 1 thousand yard season in his career

15- Steve Smith suffers a bad injury in the Super Bowl that will cause him to miss the 2006 season. As a result Mushin Muhammad demands the Bears trade him back to Carolina for the sole purpose of gaining back the Panthers single season recieving records he origninally set in 2004

16- After the Falcons sign Jeff Garcia, T.O. takes a vow of silence and does not speak for an entire year

17- Chad Pennington heals from surgery and suddenly posses the NFL's strongest arm. Shortly before the surgury however Mike Himredinger becomes convinced that the West Coast offense is the best thing since sliced bread

18- Michael Pitman, Sean Taylor, and Marcus Vick all go one year w/o any legal problems.

19- After trading Mushin Muhamad to the Bears, they sign Michael Westbrook as a reciver. Westbrook then leads the NFL in every reciving catagory and becomes the headline of a Bears offense that ranks #1 in the league. The defense falls to 32.

20. T.O. Bangs D. McNabb's real mom (and Chunky Soup mom to prove a point)

21. The Texans win 3 games.

22. Wayne Chrebet becomes an eagle but retires after Portis' mom gives him a concussion.

23. Matt Millen gets a raise. Subsequently, Detroit signs T.O. and draft Brandon Williams and Jeff Samardzija.

HAHAHA Those are hilarious man

isn't samardjza going to play baseball? he talks funny, but i'd be first in line to take a flier on him... isn't he 6'6"?

[QUOTE=Grim21Reaper]20. T.O. Bangs D. McNabb's real mom (and Chunky Soup mom to prove a point)

QUOTE]

lolololoololololololol

24. Snider goes bankrupt and all those pretty coaches we have go bye bye

25. Mike holmgren comits suicide after losing his #1 seed to the panthers and shaun alexander leaves the team

26. colts have an 0-16 season under the fearless leadership of patrick ramsey while peyton manning comes to washington and only plays unimportant games.

27. b4 becoming bankrupt snider hires parcels as an assistant coach and pays him more then joe gibbs making gibs angry, angry enuf to plow him over with a nascar

28. M. Vick relizes he should be running track, less contact.

29. Steve smith gets herpes and cant play football ne more because his cup cuases him severe agony.

16- After the Falcons sign Jeff Garcia, T.O. takes a vow of silence and does not speak for an entire year
...TO lasts 3 hours before breaking the vow to point out how gay Garcia's hat is.

...TO lasts 3 hours before breaking the vow to point out how gay Garcia's hat is.

http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/4016/jeffgarciathumb8jm.jpg

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/writers/don_banks/10/23/snap.judgments.week7/p1_garcia.jpg

30. Fred Smoot decides to leave the NFL and start his own boat cruise business (player only).
31. T.O. decides to have his vocal chords removed in an attempt to prove he will not cause any more disruptions. Unfourtunatly, he emerges from surgery with an amputated leg due to a hospital clerical error. Further investigation traces the problem to nurse "chucky soup mom".
32. Taylor Jacobs is injury free for the entire preseason. He is put on injured reserve after the first game when Saunders hits him for not getting open.
33. The Patriots actually sign the real Diet Pepsi Machine. The league objects only to be overruled when it is reveled that machine actually is T.O. and the machine is ruled a prosthetic leg.
34. The Colts decide to keep thier coaches and players in tack, but hire the best counselors available to help them after thier yearly post-season collapse.
35. To pay for additional coaches, Snyder decides to build new seats at FedEx field. People complain when they realize these "partially obstructed" seats are actually located in parking lot "G".